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More Jokes

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    Thoughts on Genealogy

    ~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my family history so I will…
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    Tax Colors

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…
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    I'm Not Sure

    When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure.""Look in…
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    Country Boys

    These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    What a Teacher Means

    What a teacher says and what he/she really means.1. Your son has a remarkable ability in…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
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    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    College Cure

    Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other,…
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    Sister Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home repair project.…
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    Kiss The Mirror Good-Bye

    According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with an unique problem:A…
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    Hearing Test

    A man goes to his doctor and says "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…
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    Get Your Own

    One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and…
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    Wait Watching

    Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her…
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    Car Trip

    Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy…

Now that I'm older....here's what I've discovered:

  • I STARTED out with nothing....I still have most of it.
  • When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?
  • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
  • All reports are in.  Life is now officially unfair.
  • If all is not lost, where is it?
  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  • The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
  • I went to school to become a wit, only got half-way through..
  • It was all so different before everything changed.
  • Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  • I wish the buck stopped here.  I could use a few...
  • It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  • The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
  • When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • It's not hard to meet expenses...  they're everywhere.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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