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    Muffin Moving

    After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…
  • A professor's question

    How Old Am I?

    A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New…
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    Macho Dude

    A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho", and went out walking with one of…
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    Airport Security

    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to…
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    A Bear, a Lion and a Pig

    A bear, a lion, and a pig meet. I know what your thinking they eat the PIG...NOThe bear…
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    Burglar and Vicar

    A burglar broke into a minister's house and told the pastor, "One move and you're dead.…
  • picture of hurricane evacuation sign route

    Florida Hurricane Advice

    We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn…
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    Dog License

    During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to…
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    Pastor To The Rescue

    There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one…
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    Dad and Surgeon

    This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,…
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    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey

    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey: Ingedients: - 1 large turkey - 1 small turkey…
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    Exact Address

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…

Now that I'm older....here's what I've discovered:

  • I STARTED out with nothing....I still have most of it.
  • When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?
  • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
  • All reports are in.  Life is now officially unfair.
  • If all is not lost, where is it?
  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  • The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
  • I went to school to become a wit, only got half-way through..
  • It was all so different before everything changed.
  • Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  • I wish the buck stopped here.  I could use a few...
  • It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  • The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
  • When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • It's not hard to meet expenses...  they're everywhere.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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