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More Jokes

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    Full Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and…
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    Well Done

    John was furious when his steak arrived too rare."Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear…
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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
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    Goober Flight Lesson

    A goober went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all…
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    That's It

    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece…
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    Goober Guess

    This goober named Jed was walking down the road one day when he came across his friend,…
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    Carried Away Shopping

    In a shop, two men struck up a conversation. Just as one fellow said that his wife was…
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    Bible Answer

    A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible…
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    In Charge

    One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting.…
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    Chemistry Stir

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to…
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    Goober Catch

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    You Know You're a Northerner When

    You know you're a northerner when...~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not…
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    Getting Ready

    A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey,…
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    Toaster Oven

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
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    Rules for Choosing a Super Hero Name

    1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie…

Now that I'm older....here's what I've discovered:

  • I STARTED out with nothing....I still have most of it.
  • When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?
  • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
  • All reports are in.  Life is now officially unfair.
  • If all is not lost, where is it?
  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  • The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
  • I went to school to become a wit, only got half-way through..
  • It was all so different before everything changed.
  • Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  • I wish the buck stopped here.  I could use a few...
  • It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  • The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
  • When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • It's not hard to meet expenses...  they're everywhere.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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