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    Graduation Speech Notes

    When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from…
  • baby feet

    Tiny Rose

    A tiny sweet baby was born to a goober and his wife. They had always dreamed of having a…
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    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
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    Help Line

    It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.------Customer: "I've been…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
  • church in the country

    Save Me a Seat

    A friend of mine, and her husband, were on vacation. They visited a church on Sunday. My…
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    Creative Duelling

    In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor…
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    Solid to Gas

    Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions…
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    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
  • bank

    Balance

    I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other…
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    Do As I Say!

    An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a…
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    One Carton and Six Eggs

    This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males: A wife asks her husband, "Could…
  • airplane trip from Indianapolis to Chicago

    Flight Time

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    60's Fans

    Fans of '60's music, my 14-year-old daughter and her best friend got front-row tickets to…

The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there.  One finally ran up, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir!  I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late.  I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the GI go.  Moments later, eight more GIs came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

"Sorry, sir!  I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.  A ninth GI jogged up to the General, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir!  I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."

"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

"No," said the GI, "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."

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