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    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
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    Signs That You May Be Canadian

    1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You understand the phrase, "Could…
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    Elementary Motherhood

    Following are answers given by elementary school-age children to the given questions: Why…
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    A Job Worse Than Yours

    The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness, requiring…
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    Tea Service

    One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old…
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    Missing Bags

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area so I went to the lost luggage…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
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    Quick Thinking Dog

    A wealthy man decides to take a hunting safari in Africa, and takes his faithful dog with…
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    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Matchmaker

    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…
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    Trading Caps

    I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had…
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    Without Glasses

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    Strange 911 Calls

    *Strange 911 Calls*A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share…
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    Driving Around

    I tell you, men drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on Highway…
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    Day Off From School

    On Monday a call came in to the school receptionist. "Hello. Please mark William absent…

The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there.  One finally ran up, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir!  I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late.  I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the GI go.  Moments later, eight more GIs came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

"Sorry, sir!  I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.  A ninth GI jogged up to the General, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir!  I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."

"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

"No," said the GI, "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."

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