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  • gas cap

    Lost Gas Cap

    David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven…
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    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the…
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    Road To Easy Street

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted…
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    Blood Flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter…
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    A Diet For Dealing With Stress

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a…
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    $4,000 Hearing

    An elderly man inquired of his wife about a recent, large expense."Well yes I bought this…
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    Range Cancelled

    At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second…
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    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…
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    Old Red

    Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80…
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    No Matter What

    Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they…
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    Facilities Memo

    My colleagues and I recently received this email from the facilities department:"Due to…
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    Word Impatience

    Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless,…
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    Professionalism Test

    Read this out loud:This is this catThis is is catThis is how catThis is to catThis is…
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    Rough Flight

    The pastor of our church began his sermon with this story:"I was on a plane last week,…
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    The Law of Parenthood

    There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood- A child's…
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play them.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.  If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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