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    Ploughing at Night

    A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends.…
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    Conductor Comment Comeback

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    Head Check

    One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he…
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    Read The Label

    A three-year-old boy went with his father to see a litter of kittens. On returning home,…
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    Cat Petting

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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    4 Year Ceiling

    A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the…
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    The Internet Pledge

    Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!!1) I will have a cup of coffee in the…
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    Goober Mom Writes Goober Son

    Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we…
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    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
  • parachute 82nd Airborne

    Airborne Recruiting

    After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could…
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    No Gun Hunting

    There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.…
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    Penguin Zoo

    Did you hear about the man that had a pet penguin? Soon after he got his penguin, he was…
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    Chow

    "Chow looks wonderful," I told the mess sergeant, a large, intimidating man. "I'd love…
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play them.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.  If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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