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    Pastor's Golf Sunday

    There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be…
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    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
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    Missing Car Parts

    A goober calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is…
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    No Rest

    The doctor had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and…
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    Toaster Oven

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Found Cell Phone

    When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers,…
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    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
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    How To Please Your I.T. Department

    How To Please Your I.T. Department [A quick check list for those who need to make…
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    At Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Thesaurus Collision

    Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New…
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    Didn't See That Coming

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her…
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    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Sneaking Into the Olympics

    Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs…
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play them.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.  If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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