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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Deputy Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • thermometer

    How Cold is it?

    An annotated thermometer: (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) +50 / +10* New York tenants…
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    Golf Deduction

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth…
  • rest area

    I'll Call Back

    Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decided to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the…
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    Summer Plans

    Summer vacation was almost about to start and the teacher asked little Sammy about a…
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    Letters of Recommendation

    If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few…
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    Leaky Pipe

    A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the…
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    Pillar Interruption

    The Sunday School teacher described how Lot's wife looked back at Sodom and was turned…
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    New Car Warning

    A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his…
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    Heat Wave Humor

    Nothing personal against Texans - change it to any place that is hot. "It's So Hot In…
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    Military Wisdom

    *Military Wisdom*"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you…
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    The Vending Machine

    A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has…
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    Next Question

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Order Debt

    A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great…
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play them.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.  If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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