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    You're Not A Monk

    A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the…
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    Aunt Emma

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    Salesman Stop By

    One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie…
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    Show and Tell

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best…
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    Restroom Use Policy

    FROM: Human Resources DepartmentSUBJECT: Restroom Use PolicyIn the past, employees were…
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    Office Answering Message

    "Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's…
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    Army Nurse Training

    During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the…
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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
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    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
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    Corporate Listening

    The company I worked for had an employee suggestion competition, the entire staff was…
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    Shoebox Dolls

    A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They…
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    Water Pistol

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
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    Y zero K

    Message from: RomeJanuary 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Bank Name

    Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her…
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    Incapacitated

    I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part…
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play them.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.  If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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