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    Pig Call

    A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough…
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    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    Ooops in the Forest

    Two hikers were walking through some foothills when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in…
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    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
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    Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Newlywed Breakfast

    "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy the newlywed bride,…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    Lunch and Learn

    The company I work for sometimes holds "Lunch and Learn" seminars for employees during…
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    Car Recognition

    A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a…
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    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm ok but…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

    Ladle Rat Rotten Hut Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder…
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    Home Early

    Little Dewey burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised, his mother…
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    Restaurant Service

    The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a…
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    Who Said That?

    If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're…
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play them.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.  If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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