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    Rabbi Schwartz Answers His Phone

    "Hello is this Rabbi Schwartz?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can." "Do…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    Cruising

    These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1. (For this one, you have…
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    A Mother's Letter to Her Son

    A Mother's Letter to Her Son My Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I'm still…
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    Location Question

    Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into…
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    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
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    Shaking Hands

    "Doctor, you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands from shaking!" "Do you drink…
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    Prescription Check

    An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you…
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    Ironic Phone Call

    A guy showed up at church with both of his ears burned. His chum asked, "what happened to…
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    Television Bloopers - British Style

    "Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just…
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    Shades of Tanning

    Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long that…
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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    Alcohol Consumption Warnings

    Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the…
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    Hospital Regulations

    Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while…
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    The Confused Goober

    The confused goober: 1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. 2.…

A goober began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help.  One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.  Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.

The boy said he was.  A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.

Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"

"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie."

 

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