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    39 And Holding

    A young child asked a woman how old she was. She answered, "39 and holding." The child…
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    Football Newbie

    A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked…
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    Dog Calls

    Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty…
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    Dog License

    During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to…
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    New Employee Orientation

    Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During the welcoming…
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    Thanksgiving Forecast

    Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an…
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    Art That Sells

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings…
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    Choruses vs Hymns

    young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
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    You Know You're a Northerner When

    You know you're a northerner when...~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not…
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    Weird Library Reference Questions

    All of these situations are real and some of them were mighty embarrassing.Enjoy! Part 1:…
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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
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    Sponge Mistake

    In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
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    Perspective

    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…

A goober wanted to go ice fishing.  She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.  Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the goober moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole.  Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The goober, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole.  The voice came once more.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK!"

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