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More Jokes

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    TV Quote

    Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one…
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    Finkel's Fine

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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Let's Play House

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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

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    Speeding Registration

    On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
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    Klopman Diamond

    A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the…
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    Ever Driven a Honda?

    A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the…
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    Bathroom Sign

    Thanks to Norma K. Appel for sending today's CleanLaugh. Dear Pastor Tim, this is a true…
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    Daughter In College

    Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay…
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    Karmel Recipe

    The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and…
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    Learning From Snowmen

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " It's okay if you're a…
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    Graceless at Grandma's

    Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.…

What do you call an eternity?  Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Goobers have TGIF written on their shoes?  Toes Go In First.

Three Goobers were driving to Disneyland.  After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said, "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Goobers and UFO's have in common?  You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Goober say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Goober stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

At a pharmacy, a Goober woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.  The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"It won't work," countered the woman.  "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

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