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    Matching Shoes

    John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and…
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    The Chief's Wife

    "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol,…
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    Checking Newbie

    Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new…
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    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Name The Twins

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.…
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    Dun in Texas

    A cowboy (named Julius?) rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink.…
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    Dinosaur Bones

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur…
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    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
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    Military Chat

    During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different…
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    New Employee Travel Policy

    Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees…
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    In Both Ears

    "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but…
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    Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump

    Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. He…
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    Raffle Toy

    Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…

What do you call an eternity?  Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Goobers have TGIF written on their shoes?  Toes Go In First.

Three Goobers were driving to Disneyland.  After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said, "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Goobers and UFO's have in common?  You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Goober say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Goober stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

At a pharmacy, a Goober woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.  The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"It won't work," countered the woman.  "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

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