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    Age Question

    A college professor asked his class a question."If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New…
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    Parachute Training

    While attending US Army's Airborne School.....The Day before our first jump, the…
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    The Vet and The Doc

    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…
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    Honest Mechanic

    I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me…
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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Hashing It Out

    I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a…
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    More On Candidates

    A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political…
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    Things Overheard on Noah's Ark

    10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"9. "Hey, there are more than…
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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…
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    Someone Is Knocking

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Car Sale

    Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the…
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    More Cute Kids

    On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small…
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    Rose Plague

    An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to…

What do you call an eternity?  Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Goobers have TGIF written on their shoes?  Toes Go In First.

Three Goobers were driving to Disneyland.  After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said, "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Goobers and UFO's have in common?  You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Goober say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Goober stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

At a pharmacy, a Goober woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.  The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"It won't work," countered the woman.  "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

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