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More Jokes

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    Cat Allergy

    A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what…
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    Store Safety

    While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker…
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    Movie Night

    My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time…
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    I'm Not Old - I'm Just Mature

    I'M NOT OLD...JUST MATUREToday at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.From my purchase…
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    Vow Changes

    Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in…
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    Before and After Children

    *Before and After Children*BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to…
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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…
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    Muffin Moving

    After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…
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    Textbook For Sale

    Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the…
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    Mail Worker

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Lawnyer

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the…
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    Signs Your Cat Is Too Fat

    Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener. Confused guests constantly mistaking him…
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    Battery Life

    An angry motorist went back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for…
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    Interactive Weather

    Our part of the country had gone for weeks with little or no rain. The TV weatherman, on…
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    Swahili Gasp

    A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger…

What do you call an eternity?  Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Goobers have TGIF written on their shoes?  Toes Go In First.

Three Goobers were driving to Disneyland.  After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said, "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Goobers and UFO's have in common?  You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Goober say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Goober stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

At a pharmacy, a Goober woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.  The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"It won't work," countered the woman.  "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

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