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    Military Wisdom

    *Military Wisdom*"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you…
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    Bystander

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    Turtle Accident

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    Sharing

    Uncle Sid and Aunt Sadie are in their eighties and have been married for more than sixty…
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    Getting Ready

    A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey,…
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    Cough Remedy

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    Bob Hope Quotes

    Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only…
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    New Librarian

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    Prison Joke Book

    It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
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    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    Vicar's Surprise

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month…
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    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…

What do you call an eternity?  Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Goobers have TGIF written on their shoes?  Toes Go In First.

Three Goobers were driving to Disneyland.  After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said, "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Goobers and UFO's have in common?  You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Goober say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Goober stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

At a pharmacy, a Goober woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.  The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"It won't work," countered the woman.  "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

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