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  • tools

    Home Mechanic Tools

    Home Mechanics Tools and their usage: HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
  • picture of pierced ears

    Pierced Ears

    The students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly…
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    Rookies

    A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A…
  • spray can

    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    A Great Job

    A guy came home to his wife and said, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m.…
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    Referrals

    When our local doctor began attending church services the minister was delighted, and it…
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    Are You My Waiter?

    Max Greenberg was at his favorite eatery, the Second Avenue Deli, when he called over the…
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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
  • law offices

    Lawyer Questions

    The following questions from lawyers (and answers from witnesses) were taken from…
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    E-Mail Blessing

    E-Mail BlessingPeace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.May…
  • baby boy

    Johnny's Home

    After the dedication service of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the…
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    Mom's Special Brownies

    "Mom's Special Brownies"Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup…
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    Kids' Kitchen Terms

    Kids' Kitchen TermsBOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck"…
  • man smile

    Vice President Pride

    Tom was very excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for…

What do you call an eternity?  Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Goobers have TGIF written on their shoes?  Toes Go In First.

Three Goobers were driving to Disneyland.  After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said, "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Goobers and UFO's have in common?  You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Goober say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Goober stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

At a pharmacy, a Goober woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.  The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"It won't work," countered the woman.  "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

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