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  • woman

    The Mystery Of Women

    I know I'm never going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take…
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    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

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    Waist Deep

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop,…
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    Two Feet

    A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car. Pushed to the…
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    License Picture

    A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's…
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    Helpful Executive

    A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing…
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    Hostage Situation

    Do you know anyone in your office like this?At the data-entry company where I work, the…
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    Sayings About Aging

    Thoughts on Growing Old ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else…
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    Dear Dog

    Dear Dog,I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which…
  • roller coaster

    The Difference of a Year

    Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first…
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    Clutter Advice

    About a week ago, I came across an Internet advice column that told me how to eliminate…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    Alcohol Consumption Warnings

    Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the…
  • score table

    Sneaking Into the Olympics

    Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs…
Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
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