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    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
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    Crossing the Road

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Pupil's Question

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
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    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
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    Ahh, Tourists

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…
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    Lawyer Son

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her Ability to answer the…
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    Prenatal Visit

    A couple was making their first visit to Dr. Mike Wilson prior to the birth of their…
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    For Sale Sign

    A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming…
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    Business Exhaustion

    The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped…
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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Truth About Children

    Truth About Children: - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A…
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    Math Symbols

    While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and…
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    Brotherly Chores

    Drew and Timmy were brothers. One day Mom and Dad had to go into town. Dad told Drew,…
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    Top 10 Holiday Gift Things To Say

    Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like: 10) Hey! There's a gift. 9.)…
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    Navajo Wisdom

    About 1969 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts…
Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
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