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    Goober Marksman

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
  • horse race

    Worst Horse Ever

    A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The…
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    Three-Sixty 727

    The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a…
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    Parenting Tip

    Mary Siegel was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best…
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    Forced Landing

    A flight instructor was sent out to help a student who had radioed that he was about to…
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    Kids on Marriage

    Kids on marriage.... How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?******- "You flip a nickel,…
  • Pictures of a Mother's Day Frame

    Mother Quotes

    PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight…
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    Mom's Special Brownies

    "Mom's Special Brownies"Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup…
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    New Duct Tape

    I was with my eldest son one day, driving around town in my old Toyota pickup, when…
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    Cowboy Joe goes to Church

    Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…
  • golf tee

    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
  • kitchen old

    Hearing Test

    A man goes to his doctor and says "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…
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    Turn Around

    A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.They thoughtfully made a…
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia?  I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?

Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes?
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise.

Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia.
Will you let her in?

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia?  Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay?

Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia?

Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two?

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
A: Why bother?  Use your fingers like the rest of us...

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia?
A: No.  Everybody stinks.

Q: Do tents exist in Australia?
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia?

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
A: Yes.  At Christmas.

Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.
A: There are no rattlesnakes in Australia.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia?
A: Face North and you should be about right.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Some people have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name.  It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross.  Can you help?

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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