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More Jokes

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    Manservant

    Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    More Signs

    In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." On an electrician's…
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    Bulletin Humor

    I hope the bulletin in your church is more accurate than the ones that these occurred in.…
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    How To Know When You Are Ready For Parenthood

    How To Know When You Are Ready For ParenthoodMESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa…
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    Goobers With Shovels

    There were two guys working for the city. One would did a hole, he would dig, dig, dig,…
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    Meeting With Teacher

    Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference. Miss Smith…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    Five Tech Replies

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…
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    Ghandi Pun

    Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became…
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    Surgical Tools

    To address an emergency call a doctor came to see a rich patient at his home, who was…
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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
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    Thanksgiving Forecast

    Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an…
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    Einstein At A Party

    Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and…
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia?  I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?

Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes?
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise.

Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia.
Will you let her in?

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia?  Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay?

Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia?

Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two?

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
A: Why bother?  Use your fingers like the rest of us...

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia?
A: No.  Everybody stinks.

Q: Do tents exist in Australia?
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia?

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
A: Yes.  At Christmas.

Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.
A: There are no rattlesnakes in Australia.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia?
A: Face North and you should be about right.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Some people have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name.  It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross.  Can you help?

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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