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    'Coons From Heaven

    MILLEDGEVILLE, Ga. (AP) - Brad Davis was training his puppy to pick up the scent of a…
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    Home Maid Cure

    A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday,…
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    School Notes

    The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been…
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    Stuck Between Floors

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    Sponge Mistake

    In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last…
  • desert

    The Top Seven things overhead on the Wise Men's Journey:

    The Top Seven things overhead on the Wise Men's Journey to Bethlehem: 7. Man, I'm…
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    Anti Stress Diet

    This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that…
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    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he…
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    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
  • church people

    Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

    - Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements. - In Christmas play, Joseph seen…
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    Ask Jeeves

    My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the…
  • cat on roof

    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…
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    Bob's MG

    I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS…
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    English Errors

    English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than…
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia?  I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?

Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes?
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise.

Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia.
Will you let her in?

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia?  Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay?

Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia?

Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two?

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
A: Why bother?  Use your fingers like the rest of us...

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia?
A: No.  Everybody stinks.

Q: Do tents exist in Australia?
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia?

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
A: Yes.  At Christmas.

Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.
A: There are no rattlesnakes in Australia.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia?
A: Face North and you should be about right.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Some people have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name.  It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross.  Can you help?

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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