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More Jokes

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    Navy Shots

    While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got…
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    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…
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    Save Me a Seat

    A friend of mine, and her husband, were on vacation. They visited a church on Sunday. My…
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    Why Are You Here?

    A man dressed as napoleon went to see a psychiatrist at the urging of his wife. "What's…
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    Stolen Truck

    The young goober came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Jake, somebody just…
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    Things to do When Your ISP Goes Down

    1. Dial 911 immediately.2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past…
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    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Quantum Date

    Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the…
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    Speech Flirt

    During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man.…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Movie Impatience

    We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it…
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    A Touch of Home

    Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 2

    Computer One-liners - Part 2ISDN: I Still Don't kNowISDN: Idiot Services you Don't NeedIt…
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    Sore Mover

    Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving…
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    Ravine Golfing

    One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.Ben sliced his ball deep into a…

I got some bad news today. You know the money you get from those ATM machines? It comes from *your* account!
Sharon Grubb

I don't care how much you and your cat love each other, if you were one inch smaller than the sweet little kitty, he'd eat you in a heartbeat.
Tom Gard

I'm really glad the guy who invented the Ray Gun was named Ray. Being shot with a Fred gun just wouldn't sound as cool.
Bob Neanover

If you sat a million monkeys down at a million computers, they might just fix this Y2K problem...oh wait, we're already doing that.
Darrell Hulshult

I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my living room, because every once in a while, someone on the TV will tell me what channel I'm watching. That really freaks me out, you know?
Pam Stewart

My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria. He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working.
Fred Marcum

I'd always wondered what it would be like to live on the sun, until my mother-in-law suggested that pressing my face against a hot frying pan might give me an idea. Trust me, you *don't* want to move there.
Ted Moran

Why are aliens always portrayed as evil in movies? How do we know that there isn't an alien out there just waiting to share the recipe for "The Universe's Best Waffle Mix?"
Kevin Peck

Light sabers don't kill people. Jedis kill people.
Jim Clark

I'll bet the first convenience stores were nothing more than caves where you could buy sticks and rocks and microwave burritos.
Art Bugsch

Word to the Empire: The Death Star is impressive, but just be sure your maps are current.
Mike Weinhold

They say if you build a better mouse trap, the world will beat down your door. But usually, it's just one neighbor, and he'll probably quit once you stop throwing dead mice in his yard.
Don Giuliano

If I had to choose one incident that sparked my love, study, and eventual career in astronomy, it would be the first time I saw a picture of that planet-you know, the one with those neat space-rings around it.
Steve Patt

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