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More Jokes

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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Garage Wow

    There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his…
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    Animal Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I…
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    All Purpose Excuse Form

    Here is an all purpose excuse form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten…
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    Tattoo Call

    I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you…
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    Actual Medical Records

    The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North…
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    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Amateur Photographer

    An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few…
  • Car-pooling, wallets and suspicions are a bad mix.

    Stolen Wallet

    It was John's turn to drive carpool into town on a day when a new member was traveling…
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    In Charge

    One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting.…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Ten Reasons Why Men Should Join The Choir

    *Ten Reasons Why Men Should Join The Choir*10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. This…
  • How to be handy around the house - in 10 easy steps.

    Ten Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House

    1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an…
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    Goober On The Net

    A goober went to his mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to…
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    Grandpa's Gift

    The following is a true story submitted by list member Mary Lou F. from Kincardine,…

I got some bad news today. You know the money you get from those ATM machines? It comes from *your* account!
Sharon Grubb

I don't care how much you and your cat love each other, if you were one inch smaller than the sweet little kitty, he'd eat you in a heartbeat.
Tom Gard

I'm really glad the guy who invented the Ray Gun was named Ray. Being shot with a Fred gun just wouldn't sound as cool.
Bob Neanover

If you sat a million monkeys down at a million computers, they might just fix this Y2K problem...oh wait, we're already doing that.
Darrell Hulshult

I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my living room, because every once in a while, someone on the TV will tell me what channel I'm watching. That really freaks me out, you know?
Pam Stewart

My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria. He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working.
Fred Marcum

I'd always wondered what it would be like to live on the sun, until my mother-in-law suggested that pressing my face against a hot frying pan might give me an idea. Trust me, you *don't* want to move there.
Ted Moran

Why are aliens always portrayed as evil in movies? How do we know that there isn't an alien out there just waiting to share the recipe for "The Universe's Best Waffle Mix?"
Kevin Peck

Light sabers don't kill people. Jedis kill people.
Jim Clark

I'll bet the first convenience stores were nothing more than caves where you could buy sticks and rocks and microwave burritos.
Art Bugsch

Word to the Empire: The Death Star is impressive, but just be sure your maps are current.
Mike Weinhold

They say if you build a better mouse trap, the world will beat down your door. But usually, it's just one neighbor, and he'll probably quit once you stop throwing dead mice in his yard.
Don Giuliano

If I had to choose one incident that sparked my love, study, and eventual career in astronomy, it would be the first time I saw a picture of that planet-you know, the one with those neat space-rings around it.
Steve Patt

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