logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Goober Quotes

I got some bad news today. You know the money you get from those ATM machines? It comes from *your* account!
Sharon Grubb

I don't care how much you and your cat love each other, if you were one inch smaller than the sweet little kitty, he'd eat you in a heartbeat.
Tom Gard

I'm really glad the guy who invented the Ray Gun was named Ray. Being shot with a Fred gun just wouldn't sound as cool.
Bob Neanover

If you sat a million monkeys down at a million computers, they might just fix this Y2K problem...oh wait, we're already doing that.
Darrell Hulshult

I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my living room, because every once in a while, someone on the TV will tell me what channel I'm watching. That really freaks me out, you know?
Pam Stewart

My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria. He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working.
Fred Marcum

I'd always wondered what it would be like to live on the sun, until my mother-in-law suggested that pressing my face against a hot frying pan might give me an idea. Trust me, you *don't* want to move there.
Ted Moran

Why are aliens always portrayed as evil in movies? How do we know that there isn't an alien out there just waiting to share the recipe for "The Universe's Best Waffle Mix?"
Kevin Peck

Light sabers don't kill people. Jedis kill people.
Jim Clark

I'll bet the first convenience stores were nothing more than caves where you could buy sticks and rocks and microwave burritos.
Art Bugsch

Word to the Empire: The Death Star is impressive, but just be sure your maps are current.
Mike Weinhold

They say if you build a better mouse trap, the world will beat down your door. But usually, it's just one neighbor, and he'll probably quit once you stop throwing dead mice in his yard.
Don Giuliano

If I had to choose one incident that sparked my love, study, and eventual career in astronomy, it would be the first time I saw a picture of that planet-you know, the one with those neat space-rings around it.
Steve Patt

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Hymns for Speeders

    Now, for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns for you: 45 mph.................God…
  • Default Image

    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
  • Default Image

    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…
  • Default Image

    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
  • Default Image

    Mother Tongue

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
  • Default Image

    Out of Fuel

    Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger…
  • Default Image

    Toucan Yell

    Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The…
  • Default Image

    Actual Signs

    Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you…
  • Default Image

    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…
  • Default Image

    Stuffed Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his…
  • Default Image

    One and Only

    "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to…
  • pill bottle

    Prescription

    A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor…
  • Default Image

    Money Date

    Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more…
  • Default Image

    Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

    *Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.2. Is there…
  • Default Image

    Locked Out

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…