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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    How to Make Life Simpler

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Cowboy Joe goes to Church

    Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a…
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    Burger Change

    I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger…
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    Gladys Pun

    There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on…
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    Healthy Life

    In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of…
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    If Bill Gates Owned a Restaurant

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the…
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    Ticket Purchase

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
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    Hasty Departure

    A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given…
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    Shy Visit To The Dentist

    A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for his first cleaning and check-up. The…
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    Happy Eggs

    One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for…
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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Amazed dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good…
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    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…

Passing an office building late one night, a Goober saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at the Goober, "what do you want?"

"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it for yourself."

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