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More Jokes

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    Late For Work

    For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a…
  • flu picture

    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    Doctor Visit

    A guy walks into a Doctor's office. He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle out…
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    Wild Game

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake…
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    Second Opinion 2

    A man has not been feeling well and goes to the doctor for a check up. After the physical…
  • If General Motors had a car help line

    Car Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    Flight Fear

    Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting…
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    How to Make Life Simpler

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Bob Hope Quotes

    Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only…
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    Glass Honesty

    As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses."I really only need…
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    Interactive Weather

    Our part of the country had gone for weeks with little or no rain. The TV weatherman, on…
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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…

In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a canary, but it's got to be a real good singer. I've got good, hard U.S. cash, but I'm only paying only for a good singer."

The shop owner began moving a ladder towards a small cage on a shelf about fifteen feet up, near the ceiling of the store. "Ma'am, I'm forty years in this business. In that cage is the best singer I've ever had ."

"Don't think I'm gonna feel obligated to pay for something I don't want just because you're climbing up a ladder like a monkey. I want a canary but it's got to be the best singer."

By this point the shop keeper was coming down from the ladder. "Ma'am, this bird is a veritable feathered Caruso!" Placing the cage on the counter, the bird burst into melody after melody.

Awed, the woman murmured, "This bird is really a good singer."

Suddenly in a shrill scream, "Hey, what's with you? This bird's only got one leg."

The pet store owner was unperturbed, "Lady what do you want a singer ? . . . . . or a dancer?"

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