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More Jokes

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    Mess Sign

    A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess read, "Don't Waste Food -- Food will win the…
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    Unbreakable

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    Homework Problem

    One of my third-graders came to school crying. "Jonathan's upset because he couldn't…
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    Heavy Housework

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    Arguing

    The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    Are You My Waiter?

    Max Greenberg was at his favorite eatery, the Second Avenue Deli, when he called over the…
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    The Place for Grace

    When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away."Johnny wait until we…
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    Watery Deal

    A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of…
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    Summer Job Hunt

    My brother wants me to find him a summer job. He asked me to check with my boss, my…
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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    One-Liners

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Nothing in the known universe…
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    Card Reader

    "Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny."My mother can," Danny…
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    Zack and His Mule

    Zack and his mule were walking down the road when one of Zack's friends drove up and…
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    Dieting Buddies

    Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on…
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    The Patch

    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his…

A duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any crackers? "

Bartender says no.

Duck walks out.

Duck walks in the next day and asks, "Got any crackers?" bar tender says no.

Duck walks out.

Duck walks in the next day and asks, "Got any crackers?"

Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!"

Duck walks out.

Duck comes back the next day and asks, "Got any nails?" bartender says no.

Duck says "Good. Got any crackers?"

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