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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 1

    1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a…
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    Church Mice Problem

    Three pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first pastor said, "Ya know,…
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    Read The Label

    A three-year-old boy went with his father to see a litter of kittens. On returning home,…
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    The Night of Tax Day

    Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,Every creature was whirring, even the…
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    I Just Can't Drive Today

    For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled…
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    Miscellaneous Goobers

    GOOBERS AT WORK - I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk…
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    The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

    Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to…
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    Cruising

    These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1. (For this one, you have…
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    Sunday Service

    A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.After the…
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    Roughhousing

    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Bag of Chickens

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:…
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    Weight Training

    My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me,…
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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
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    Tap Away

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
1.  All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.

2.  All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3.  The I.D.  (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4.  All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5.  All pipe should be supplied without rust - this can be more readily applied at the job site. N.B.  Some Vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipe.  If available in your area, this product is recommended as it will save a lot of time on the job site.

6.  All pipe over 500 ft (153m) in length should have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe.

7.  Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words "very long pipe" painted in the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a very long pipe.

8.  All pipe over 6" (152 mm) in diameter must have the words "large pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.

9.  Flanges must be used on all pipe.  Flanges must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

10.  When ordering 90 degrees, 45 degrees or 30 degrees elbow, be sure to specify right hand or left hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11.  Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe.  If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.

12.  All couplings should have either right hand or left hand thread, but do not mix the threads - otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is unscrewed from the other.
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