More Jokes

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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…
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    Casket Comment

    A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the…
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    Picnic Pains

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Hitchhiker Problem

    John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.As they rode along he…
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    Golf Survey

    My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18…
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    Dad and Surgeon

    This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,…
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    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
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    Muffled Workers

    Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner of the estate felt He was doing a good…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
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    Subway Drop

    The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most…
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    If Bill Gates Owned a Restaurant

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    Help Wanted

    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP…
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    Passed Note

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
1.  All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.

2.  All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3.  The I.D.  (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4.  All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5.  All pipe should be supplied without rust - this can be more readily applied at the job site. N.B.  Some Vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipe.  If available in your area, this product is recommended as it will save a lot of time on the job site.

6.  All pipe over 500 ft (153m) in length should have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe.

7.  Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words "very long pipe" painted in the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a very long pipe.

8.  All pipe over 6" (152 mm) in diameter must have the words "large pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.

9.  Flanges must be used on all pipe.  Flanges must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

10.  When ordering 90 degrees, 45 degrees or 30 degrees elbow, be sure to specify right hand or left hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11.  Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe.  If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.

12.  All couplings should have either right hand or left hand thread, but do not mix the threads - otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is unscrewed from the other.
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