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    The Head Hog

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    Gold Watch

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    Boat Compromise

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    Summer Camp

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    Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen

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    Another Reason Not To Drink

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    Travel Agent Stories

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    Hunting Feedback

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    Hybrid Car

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    Argument Settled

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    What Mom's Really Want

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    Faithful Service Gift

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    Pawn Return

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    Evangelist Request

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    First I Got

    Elmer says, "First, I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that…

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman.  He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr.  Williams.  I've known you since you were a young boy.  And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.  You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned.  Not knowing what else to do he pointed across he room and asked, "Mrs.  Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do.  I've known Mr.  Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  I used to baby-sit him for his parents.  And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me.  He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.  The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.  Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.  In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

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