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    Physics Purpose

    One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med…
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    Application

    An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you…
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    Mrs. Hunter Jury Duty

    Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't…
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    Doctor's Orders

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    Scared vs. Apprehension

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    On The Ball Mechanic

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    Melanie is Watching

    One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by…
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    Express Desire

    A pastor in Central Illinois went to the railroad depot everyday to watch the express…
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    Will She Say Yes?

    An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and…
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    Peter's Portrait

    One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis,…
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    Signs You Are Broke

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    You know you're growing old when..

    You know you're growing old when..You've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    Men's Thesaurus

    "IT'S A GUY THING"Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,…
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    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    Transcribing Confusion

    We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came…

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman.  He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr.  Williams.  I've known you since you were a young boy.  And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.  You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned.  Not knowing what else to do he pointed across he room and asked, "Mrs.  Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do.  I've known Mr.  Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  I used to baby-sit him for his parents.  And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me.  He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.  The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.  Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.  In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

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