logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Gravity Situation

hand sandI saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is gradually diminishing.

Top scientists agree, "With the present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century," say several prominent physicists. "There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth's gravity supply. We're already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we're not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue."

It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.

Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.

We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:

(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.

(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.

(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.

(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.

(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.

(6) Stop flipping pancakes.

This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.

Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    The Front Pew

    An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at…
  • man8

    Choruses vs Hymns

    A young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
  • Default Image

    Cherokee Language

    A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children…
  • Default Image

    Old Goats

    A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a…
  • Default Image

    Bus Fare to Train Station

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?"…
  • Default Image

    More Actual Classified Ads

    More Actual Classified Ads - - - - - Stock up and save. Limit: one. - We build bodies…
  • A joke about a boss's speech that goes too long.

    Blah Blah Blah

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his…
  • picture of a hang glider

    Zeek's Hang Glider

    In the back woods of Gooberland, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeek,…
  • Default Image

    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
  • university building

    Evaluation Excerpts

    These are actual excerpts from college course evaluation forms: 1. "The textbook is…
  • Default Image

    How to Bathe a Cat

    1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet…
  • Default Image

    Call To Mom

    A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother.…
  • showerhead

    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
  • roofers

    Cinderoofer

    When my children received the video of Cinderella as a summer gift, they watched it…
  • Default Image

    Go Easy at First

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight…