logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Gravity Situation

hand sandI saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is gradually diminishing.

Top scientists agree, "With the present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century," say several prominent physicists. "There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth's gravity supply. We're already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we're not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue."

It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.

Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.

We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:

(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.

(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.

(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.

(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.

(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.

(6) Stop flipping pancakes.

This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.

Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…
  • Default Image

    Dusty Comeback

    My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.One evening my dad returned home from work,…
  • Default Image

    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a horse with him to add to…
  • Default Image

    Military Chat

    During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different…
  • crowd1

    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
  • Default Image

    Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He…
  • Default Image

    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
  • Default Image

    Feeding the Baby

    My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.…
  • Default Image

    Weight Report

    A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.One day while…
  • Default Image

    Bishop's Role

    We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and…
  • Default Image

    Goober Y2K Date Change Project Status:

    Y-to-K Date Change Project Status: Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time…
  • paper chain_people

    Lots of Kids

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my…
  • Default Image

    Washing Settings

    One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
  • Default Image

    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
  • child six

    Real Answers

    These, are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons.A: Salt, pepper,…