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More Jokes

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    Turning Left

    My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving…
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    Expecting

    "How does Jamie like being pregnant?" Danny asked his friend Ryan."Oh, she's not…
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    Hospital Information

    A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I…
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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
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    How High Is It?

    An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150…
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    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
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    Train Candy Bar

    Little Johnny and his friend Billy were on their very first train ride, with Billy's…
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    More One-liners

    I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Madness…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

    So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh,…
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    Dangling Participles

    Dangling Participle Alert!~ The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy…
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    Birthday Greetings

    Seen on a birthday card.Forget about the past, You can't change it.Forget about the…
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    Things My Mother Taught Me

    My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go…
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    Breakfast Call

    When my son was in the ninth grade, we reluctantly agreed to let him move into the…
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    Sloth Police Report

    A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he…
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    Business Exhaustion

    The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped…
*Great Truths About Life that Children Have Learned*

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

4) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

5) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

8) Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

9) School lunches stick to the wall.

10) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

11) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. No matter how cute the underwear is.
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