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More Jokes

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    New Employee Orientation

    Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During the welcoming…
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    New Recruit

    As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had…
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    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
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    Newspaper Ads

    **Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks…
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    Sleeping Leg

    A lady had been exposed to strep and needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her…
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    Preacher and Cowboy

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…
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    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
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    Weight Training

    My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me,…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Employment Search

    My employment search preoccupied our family for months. One day my husband told our three…
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    Thanksgiving Forecast

    Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an…
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    Legal Contracts

    The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to…
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    Fax Hint

    As a professor at the Air Force Institute of Technology, I taught a series of popular…
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    Circles

    During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed…
*Great Truths About Life that Children Have Learned*

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

4) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

5) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

8) Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

9) School lunches stick to the wall.

10) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

11) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. No matter how cute the underwear is.
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