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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
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    You Might be a Pastor If...

    ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only…
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    Coffee Delay

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    Goat for Dinner

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    Monitors

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    Sugar Worry

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    Correct Response

    While in an instrument flight-training class at Reese Air Force Base, Texas, I dozed off…
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    Pants Dilemma

    A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Finish Paving

    While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands…
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    Goober & Cell Phone

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first…
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    Prescription Fail

    A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to…
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    New and Approved

    The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story.…
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    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    First Day

    Little Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had…

A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.  They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants.  She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.  Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide.  They wander into the next room.  She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.  Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up"! 

The woman is even more perplexed but still lets it slide.  They wander further into the next room.  She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue.  Restful, peaceful, cool blue."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.  Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"! 

This is too much.  The woman has to ask.  So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window 'Green side up.' What on earth does that mean?"

The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four goobers laying sod across the street."

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