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  • checkbook

    Checking Newbie

    Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new…
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    Warning Labels

    Warning Labels!7 Up:Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other…
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    True Calls to the IRS

    True Calls to the IRSCaller: I want to know if I should file married or single.IRS: Are…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    Taxing Cinderella

    The tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for…
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    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…
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    First Salute

    The first salute received by a freshly commissioned Second Lieutenant is always…
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    Watery Deal

    A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of…
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    Pulpit Humor

    There was this Lutheran minister who served a predominately German congregation for…
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    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…
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    Tail Light

    "How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The…
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    Goobers In Ditch

    Two Goobers were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we…
  • nuts

    Got the Munchies?

    Mrs. Jones had been steadfast in her local congregation for many years and that is why…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
  • Pictures of a Mother's Day Frame

    Mother Quotes

    PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight…

A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.  They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants.  She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.  Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide.  They wander into the next room.  She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.  Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up"! 

The woman is even more perplexed but still lets it slide.  They wander further into the next room.  She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue.  Restful, peaceful, cool blue."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.  Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"! 

This is too much.  The woman has to ask.  So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window 'Green side up.' What on earth does that mean?"

The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four goobers laying sod across the street."

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