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  • man shopping

    Can't Take It With You

    "You just go ahead," the man in the shopping mall said to his wife. "While you're…
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    Pregnant Stamp

    A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Why ask Why?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why…
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    Student Driver

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in…
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    Wedding Cake Verse

    A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding…
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    Never Be Late

    A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A…
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    Crocheted Dolls

    There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had…
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    Information Assistance

    "Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One…
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    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…
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    Cell Phone Flight Call

    En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane…
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    4 Year Ceiling

    A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Raise Refusal

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…

dog scottyA young couple lived in a town filled with crime.

After three neighbors had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.

Visiting the pet store, the young wife asked for a good guard dog.

"Sorry, we're all sold out," the clerk replied. "All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he does know karate!"

The woman didn't believe the clerk, so he told the dog to karate a chair. The dog broke the chair into pieces. Then he told the dog to karate a table, and the dog quickly broke the table in half. So the woman bought the dog and took it home.

Her husband was disappointed and skeptical about the Scottie dog's abilities as a guard dog.

The wife told him about the dog's excellent karate skills.

"Karate, my butt!" the husband yelled.

To this very day, he is still in the hospital.

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