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    Surgery Plan

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    Updated Punishment

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    Word of Mouth

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    That's Hospital Coverage!

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    Young Guy's "BG"

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    Say Something Positive

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    Permitted To Learn

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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

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    Largest Amphibious Assault

    I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
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    Birth Wharp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Restaurant Line

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    Warning Sign

    Vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in…
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    Late at Walmart

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    Marriage Marathon

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Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating
systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony.

For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry. The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:

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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
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Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
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A crash reduces
your expensive computer to
a simple stone.
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred.
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You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

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