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  • Tourist asks cabbie if Israel is really a healthy country.

    Healthy Tourism

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson…
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    Haircut Request

    When a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair…
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    Three Gifts

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they…
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    Honeymoon In England

    On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick…
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    Children's Message

    A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service,…
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    Ad Woes

    A disappointed soft drink salesman returned from his Middle East assignment. His boss…
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    A Dollar Per Point

    A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests…
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    Ah, Newlyweds

    There are never any secrets! A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached,…
  • Wedding Day Truths

    From the Beginning

    My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he…
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    Clergy Golf

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped…
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    What Mom Really Wants

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy…
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    Miracle Toddler Diet

    Miracle Toddler DietLosing weight is the number New Year's Resolution.The problem is,…
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    Classmate Reunion

    While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed…
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    Grandmothers

    The following have been taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds.A grandmother…
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    Unwritten Warning Labels

    *Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive…

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating
systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony.

For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry. The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:

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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
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Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
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A crash reduces
your expensive computer to
a simple stone.
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred.
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You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

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