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    Campaign Funding

    Can you believe a candidate dropped out of the race because of a lack of campaign funds?…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
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    If Airlines Sold Paint

    *If Airlines Sold Paint*Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all…
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    Order Debt

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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…
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    Goober with a Pager

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    IAMS Hotline

    The IAMS Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Noisy Neighbors

    A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and…
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    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…
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    Art Good News/Bad News

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on…
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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Diary

    Linda: "What's that you're reading?"Jill: "A diary."Linda: What's in it?Jill: "I can't…
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    Out of this World Restaurant (groaner)

    Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
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    Hitchhiker Problem

    John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.As they rode along he…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility.

One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?"

After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?"

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