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    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm ok but…
  • horses

    English Verses Western

    My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses…
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    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
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    Apples for Teachers

    There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high…
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    Better By Train

    A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of…
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    Faithful Service Gift

    I recall a story my father used to tell about a pastor who had been at a church for 20…
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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…
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    Some Wacky Definitions

    EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE: bunch of…
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    Ode to a Shedding Cat

    I think that I shall never seeA cat that sheds as much as thee. Thy fur that sticks is…
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    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…
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    The Gift

    A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, "I…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
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    Winter House

    We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was…
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    Department Staff

    The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff…

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way.  With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.

The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable.  In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.  The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read,

"My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed.  In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- Make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way."

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