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More Jokes

  • newspaper

    From British Newspapers

    1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman…
  • calendar

    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Mouth Surgery

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
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    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
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    Why Ask Why

    *Why Ask Why*Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and…
  • puzzle

    Goober Celebration

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…
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    Theme Songs For Bible Characters

    Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus:…
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    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
  • puddle road

    Deep Trouble

    A man driving his car down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle…
  • chickens

    Prepared Chicken

    "May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"…
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    Flood Prediction

    Meteorological experts predicted a massive flood that would destroy the world.The Pope…
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    Mummy Heart Failure

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket…

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way.  With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.

The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable.  In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.  The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read,

"My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed.  In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- Make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way."

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