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    Illegal Turn

    A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it…
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    Kids and Cliches

    I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Shakespearean in Dallas

    A kid and his mom were walking on the sidewalk in Dallas. The kid, being 100% Texan, upon…
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    Golf Beginner

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Tennis Ball Lesson

    A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each…
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    Card Reader

    "Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny."My mother can," Danny…
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    Little Johnny Tested

    The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a…
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    Dark Parachute Jumps

    Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we…
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    The Internet's Last Page

    The Internet's Last Page You have been directed to the last page of the internet. We…
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    Pain Cause

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illness

    *The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illness* 1. The Macy's One Day Sale Flu. 2. The…
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    Sermon Follow-Up

    A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To…
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    Traffice Warning

    As he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local…
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    Spa First Day

    A woman joined a health spa, and on her first day eagerly joined in an exercise class.…

In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of preserving health.

One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the subject.  "Look at me!" he said.  "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food.  Why, gentlemen," he continued, "from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple regular life----no effeminate delicacies, no late hours, no extravagances.  Every day, in fact, summer and winter, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning.  I worked from eight to one, then had dinner--a plain dinner, mark my words: after that, an hour's exercise; then--"

"Excuse me, sir," interrupted the facetious stranger in the corner, "but what were you in jail for?"

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