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More Jokes

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    Inspiring Music

    A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to…
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    All Roads Lead Back to Rome

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.…
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    Vet Bills

    While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their…
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    High School Record

    Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach, Mr. Carlier. Walking…
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    Called In Sick

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union…
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    CD Generation

    After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover…
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    Tips For The Clueless

    Some Tips for the Clueless If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by…
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    Window Seats

    At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both…
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    Before and After Children

    *Before and After Children*BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to…
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    Head First Entry

    A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a…
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    Nesting Birds

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Why Don't I see You?

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was…
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    Dishwashed Verse

    Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, This isn't a man s job.Oh yes, it…
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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
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    Emergency Flowers

    I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was…

It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.

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Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

Customer: "It's on the door of your business."

Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "OK."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

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