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More Jokes

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    You Know You Are a Geek When

    You know you are a geek when . . .You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that…
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    Anti-Burglar Signs

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    12 Step Web Addicts Recovery Program

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    Losing New Balls

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    Waking Up Mad

    One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the…
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    Exam By Chance

    A young student reports for a final examination that consists of only true/false type…
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    Charity Auction

    The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified…
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    Sign Fun

    *Sign Fun*On a California freeway: Fine for LitteringIn the window of an Atlanta clothing…
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    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Miles and Eggs

    The teacher noticed that Mike had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get…
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    Rest Home Trial

    Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on…
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    Ski Wax

    As a ski instructor, I sometimes tease my little pupils. Once I told seven year old Luke…
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    Finkel's Fine

    A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, Hello, darling, I'd like to talk…

It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.

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Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

Customer: "It's on the door of your business."

Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "OK."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

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