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More Jokes

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    Camping Privacy

    Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their…
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    Card Name

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    Quantum Date

    Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the…
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    Birth Warp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…
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    Things You May Hear Just Before Unemployment

    *Things You May Hear Just Before Unemployment* - I don't know what we'll do without you,…
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    Organizational Changes at the North Pole

    Organizational Changes at the North PoleThe recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen…
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    Priory Priority

    The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of…
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    Exam By Chance

    A young student reports for a final examination that consists of only true/false type…
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    Eyes Gone

    Yesterday I went to the opticians, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty,…
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    Dog Breeding Made Absurd

    ~ Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet ~ Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye…
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    Visiting Grandma

    Grandma, who appeared to become an ever-more intimidating personality as the years went…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…
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    Almost Redialed

    I still have a lot of trouble with wrong numbers. Yesterday I dialed the Red Cross and…
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    Muffin Moving

    After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…

It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.

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Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

Customer: "It's on the door of your business."

Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "OK."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

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