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More Jokes

  • family time

    Supporting a Family

    Jake had proposed to young Gina and was being interviewed by his prospective…
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    Where's God?

    Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers. If there was a problem in…
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    Yosemite Bears

    A married couple was vacationing in Yosemite. The wife expressed her concern about…
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    Gender Request

    After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    Happy Songs

    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to…
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    Miracle Toddler Diet

    Miracle Toddler DietLosing weight is the number New Year's Resolution.The problem is,…
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    Haircut Plan

    I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be…
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    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…
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    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
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    *Food Spoilage Tests For Bachelors*

    THE GAG TEST: Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you…
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    Minibike

    A young man drove his mini-bike in to a gas station and dismounted."I'll need about a…
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    Country Refreshment

    A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little…
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    The Same Taste

    Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its sexy…

It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.

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Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

Customer: "It's on the door of your business."

Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "OK."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

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