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    Lit Match

    On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the…
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    Bare Bones Moving

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    Nature Abhors A Simile

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    Loudest Band

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    4th Grade Experiment

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    Coin Test

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    Isn't That Nice?

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    Prison Joke Book

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    Smile For the DMV

    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was…
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    Re-Gifting

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    What Is That?

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    Poor Widow

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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…
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    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…

A little while after my mother was widowed, it became apparent that she was unable to open the garage door by herself.  Being the macho man that I am, I've decided to install an automatic door for her.  I worked very hard on my project. Very proud of my achievement, I gave the remote control to my mother and said, "Here, Mom, you open it."

After she gingerly pressed the button, the garage door slowly started to move upwards, making the usual chug-chug-chug sound.

All of a sudden, the chugging was interrupted by a loud "Squeal! Yelp! Yelp!!"

Bewildered, we looked under the garage door. Standing on its hind legs and frantically waving front paws was the family mutt. My mother tied the poor dog to the garage door's handle.

Instead of lowering the door, my mother tried to free the almost-hanging pooch from his collar, the remote control firmly clutched in her hand. I was rolling on the grass laughing. I finally wrestled the remote from my mother, lowered the garage door and freed the dog.

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