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    Lost Ball

    My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18…
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    Plane Pontoons

    Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped…
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    Bad Flight

    While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power…
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    Two by Fours

    Man injured by fallen raccoon A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Note From Judge

    During court one busy day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a note reading: "Blind on…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
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    Job Application

    This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food…
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    Tech Smoke

    A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.Tech: What's the…
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    After Me

    "I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "Three companies are after me." "Is…
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    Art Good News/Bad News

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on…
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    W-a-i-t-i-n-g

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
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    A Goober Wins

    A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. He looks on the…
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    Movie Critic

    I overheard two children discussing their selection in the video area of a store. One boy…
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    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…

A little while after my mother was widowed, it became apparent that she was unable to open the garage door by herself.  Being the macho man that I am, I've decided to install an automatic door for her.  I worked very hard on my project. Very proud of my achievement, I gave the remote control to my mother and said, "Here, Mom, you open it."

After she gingerly pressed the button, the garage door slowly started to move upwards, making the usual chug-chug-chug sound.

All of a sudden, the chugging was interrupted by a loud "Squeal! Yelp! Yelp!!"

Bewildered, we looked under the garage door. Standing on its hind legs and frantically waving front paws was the family mutt. My mother tied the poor dog to the garage door's handle.

Instead of lowering the door, my mother tried to free the almost-hanging pooch from his collar, the remote control firmly clutched in her hand. I was rolling on the grass laughing. I finally wrestled the remote from my mother, lowered the garage door and freed the dog.

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