logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Golf course, may I help you?

    Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars.…
  • Default Image

    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…
  • Default Image

    Amazed dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good…
  • Default Image

    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…
  • cemetary

    Mail Problems

    Thanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family. Dear Pastor Tim, This is…
  • Default Image

    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
  • a picture of a high-heel-shoe

    Shoe Cover-Up

    One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this…
  • Default Image

    Signal Shot

    The new ensign was standing his first night watch on the bridge of a destroyer. Far out…
  • Default Image

    Another Try - Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say

    Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say...20. You know, when you build your…
  • Default Image

    Bear Hunting Preacher

    A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some…
  • Default Image

    Biblical Endorsements

    What if Biblical characters could be recruited as product endorsers? For Match.com -…
  • Default Image

    Sarahrella

    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…
  • fisheye

    Fishy Dinner

    A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring…
  • Default Image

    Second Opinion

    A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.She…
  • Default Image

    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or "Hickbonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.  A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone.

The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence.  Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida.  Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh.  Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart.  See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert.  He ain't thanked but a minnit' n'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City...  view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.

Powered By JFBConnect