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More Jokes

  • doctor4

    Seconds First

    A young woman wasn't feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.…
  • A picture of genetically modified corn

    Genetically Modified Food

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    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
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    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
  • school-house

    Beginning School

    Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him…
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    Research Team

    A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the…
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    Dog Sweater

    In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog.The…
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    Shaking Hands

    "Doctor, you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands from shaking!" "Do you drink…
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    You're Not a Kid Anymore When

    You're not a kid anymore when ...* The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Goober Vacuum

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Office Answering Message

    "Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
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    Refined Shopping

    A very refined young man comes to a small food shop and sees fruit. "Give me two…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…

The passengers on the jetliner were relaxing in their seats for the long flight.  The voice over the loudspeaker had just announced that the aircraft had reached its cruising altitude and that the passengers were free to unfasten their seatbelts and move about the cabin.  Then the voice continued.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to announce that you are flying on the maiden voyage of one of our brand new fully- automated jetliners.  These new jetliners are the pride of our fleet and have no need for pilot, co-pilot or navigator.  All human error has been eliminated.  You needn't be alarmed, as everything from the cabin pressure to the speed and altitude is completely controlled by our computer.  We're excited about the world's first fully-automated airplane, and we hope you are, too.  So just sit back and relax, and remember, nothing can go wrong...  nothing can go wrong...  nothing can go wrong...  nothing can go wrong..."

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