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    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
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    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    Sister Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home repair project.…
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    Chewed Out Answer

    A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he…
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    24 Pigs

    A young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina. A…
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    Golf Quitter

    Two men were chatting casually at work over the water cooler. The conversation turned to…
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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    Tech Support

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…
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    Learn Those Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I…
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    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…
  • old lady

    AAADD

    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…
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    Clothes Hamper

    I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked…
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    Accident Prayer

    As my five-year-old-son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car…
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    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…

The passengers on the jetliner were relaxing in their seats for the long flight.  The voice over the loudspeaker had just announced that the aircraft had reached its cruising altitude and that the passengers were free to unfasten their seatbelts and move about the cabin.  Then the voice continued.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to announce that you are flying on the maiden voyage of one of our brand new fully- automated jetliners.  These new jetliners are the pride of our fleet and have no need for pilot, co-pilot or navigator.  All human error has been eliminated.  You needn't be alarmed, as everything from the cabin pressure to the speed and altitude is completely controlled by our computer.  We're excited about the world's first fully-automated airplane, and we hope you are, too.  So just sit back and relax, and remember, nothing can go wrong...  nothing can go wrong...  nothing can go wrong...  nothing can go wrong..."

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