logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
  • Default Image

    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
  • Default Image

    Football Signals

    A three-year-old in the congregation regularly watched football games with his father. So…
  • Default Image

    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
  • Default Image

    Chicken Neighbour

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
  • Default Image

    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
  • Default Image

    Real Answers

    These, are real answers given by children.Q: Name the four seasons.A: Salt, pepper,…
  • Default Image

    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
  • Default Image

    How Business Communications Work

    How Business Communications WorkMEMORANDUMFrom: Headquarters - New YorkTo: General…
  • Default Image

    Preacher's Donkey

    A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had…
  • Default Image

    Blind Date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with…
  • Default Image

    Ten Commandments

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and…
  • Default Image

    Even More Cute Kids

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old…
  • Default Image

    Open Mouth, Insert Foot

    At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with…
  • spray can

    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…

MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, It was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.  An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both sides.  By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Christmukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.  As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.  Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

In fact, one of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner.  A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared content with this decision.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well.  He merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market.  Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance.

He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy, Come All Ye Faithful."

Powered By JFBConnect