logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Garage Wow

    There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his…
  • Default Image

    Sick At Church

    Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit…
  • Default Image

    Child Perspective on Retirement

    A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the…
  • fisheye

    Fishy Dinner

    A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring…
  • dog scotty

    Guard Dog Karate

    A young couple lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors had been robbed,…
  • Default Image

    One and Only

    "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to…
  • Default Image

    Preacher and Cowboy

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    Got Any Crackers

    A duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any crackers? "Bartender says no.Duck walks…
  • Default Image

    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…
  • Default Image

    Movie Night

    My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time…
  • Default Image

    The Front Pew

    An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at…
  • Default Image

    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he…
  • restaurant meal3

    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
  • Default Image

    Happy Birthday Line

    Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate of mine aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan,…

MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, It was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.  An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both sides.  By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Christmukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.  As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.  Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

In fact, one of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner.  A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared content with this decision.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well.  He merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market.  Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance.

He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy, Come All Ye Faithful."

Powered By JFBConnect