logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    List Management

    Here is the list member's response - which is today's CleanLaugh.First the explanation…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…
  • bible open

    Misquote

    A friend of mine attended a Christian college where the tradition was to deliver a box of…
  • Default Image

    Goober Compensation

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
  • Default Image

    Bagpipe Jokes

    Relax, they aren't that bad - it's just joking about them that's fun. Q. What's the…
  • Default Image

    Barbecue Forks

    As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long…
  • speech

    Cub Reporter Miss

    Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of…
  • Default Image

    Sugar Worry

    A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and…
  • chicken kentucky fried store

    Trooper Delivery

    One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto…
  • Default Image

    Doll Play

    Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR…
  • Default Image

    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
  • picture of eyeglasses

    Looking Back

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
  • Default Image

    The Cautious Pilot

    Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the…
  • Default Image

    Pie Manners

    In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was eager to help his mother…

MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, It was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.  An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both sides.  By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Christmukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.  As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.  Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

In fact, one of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner.  A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared content with this decision.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well.  He merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market.  Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance.

He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy, Come All Ye Faithful."

Powered By JFBConnect