logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Anti Stress Diet

    This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that…
  • Default Image

    Starting To Date

    Alan asks, "I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours, Steve. What are you…
  • Default Image

    What A Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
  • power workers

    Checking Out

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…
  • Default Image

    Blind Date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with…
  • Default Image

    Blood Flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter…
  • garage

    Signs Your Garage Needs to be Cleaned

    - It just entered itself in the heavyweight division on BattleBots. - I don't care what…
  • Default Image

    Vet Cure

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
  • Default Image

    Quick Thinking Clerk

    There is a story about a new clerk in a supermarket. A customer asked him if she could…
  • office write

    Security Tips

    The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep…
  • Default Image

    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
  • Default Image

    Computer One Liners - Part 2

    Computer One Liners - Part 2ISDN: I Still Don't kNowISDN: Idiot Services you Don't NeedIt…
  • Default Image

    Aging

    ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall…
  • Default Image

    Lit Match

    On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the…
  • Default Image

    Ash Request

    A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me…

MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, It was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.  An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both sides.  By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Christmukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.  As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.  Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

In fact, one of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner.  A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared content with this decision.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well.  He merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market.  Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance.

He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy, Come All Ye Faithful."

Powered By JFBConnect