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More Jokes

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    Convenient Robbery

    Tim and Bill were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered the lobby. Not only…
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    Tea Service

    One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years…
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    Baseball Class

    A professor at the Michigan State University was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
  • turkey live

    All Pro Turkey

    The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey…
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    Good Guess

    The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in…
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    Second Try

    Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one…
  • car old

    Car Ads

    If the car ad claims these items, it really means: - rough condition = too bad to lie…
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    Corn Problem

    We were eating corn on the cob two weeks ago and my 5-year-old daughter Rachel seemed to…
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    Sibling Takings

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…
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    What Doctors are Thinking

    What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right…
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    Dusty Comeback

    My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.One evening my dad returned home from work,…
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    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
  • Race horses talking in the stable

    Race Horses in a Stable

    Some race horses are staying in a stable when one of them starts to boast about his track…
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    I'm a Moth

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    Internet Cleaning

    As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to…
Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.

- I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.

- I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.

- A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.

- Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him.  Unfortunately, my homework drowned.

- Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.

- I'm not at liberty to say why.

- I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.

- It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas.  You don't want to know the details.

- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.

- I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.

- My mom used it as a dryer sheet.

- My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.

- It's against my religion to do any homework.

- I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.

- I felt it wasn't challenging enough.

- My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night.  Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.

- We had homework?!

- I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."

- I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.

- I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
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