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More Jokes

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    Skipping School

    The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student…
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    Bear Hunting

    Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for…
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    Coffee, No Cream

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
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    Pop Rocks

    Cassie was taking two of her Grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio…
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    E-mail Problem

    The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for…
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    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    Young Patient

    A pediatrician in town always plays a game with some of his young patients to put them at…
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    Card Reader Instructions

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Call For A Ride

    Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One…
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    Day Off From School

    On Monday a call came in to the school receptionist. "Hello. Please mark William absent…
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    4 Year Ceiling

    A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the…
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    If Bill Gates Owned a Restaurant

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the…
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    One Seat Allowed

    A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by…
Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.

- I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.

- I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.

- A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.

- Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him.  Unfortunately, my homework drowned.

- Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.

- I'm not at liberty to say why.

- I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.

- It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas.  You don't want to know the details.

- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.

- I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.

- My mom used it as a dryer sheet.

- My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.

- It's against my religion to do any homework.

- I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.

- I felt it wasn't challenging enough.

- My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night.  Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.

- We had homework?!

- I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."

- I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.

- I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
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