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More Jokes

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    Inspector Mom

    Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq?…
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    Waking Up

    This week a man awoke from a coma that had lasted for 62 years. His first question was,…
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    Dining Out

    The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table; Mr. & Mrs. Smith…
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    Dirty Hands in Class

    A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.She stopped him…
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    Coffee Pain

    Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange…
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    Frog in Pocket

    A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the…
  • movie seats

    More things you would never know without the movies

    The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love... The…
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    Goober Vacuum

    It's been a while since we saw a goober joke on the CleanLaugh list. For those who don't…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Vampire Bat

    A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched…
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    Blind Ambition

    Charlie Boswell has always been one of my heroes. He has inspired me and thousands of…
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    The Buck Stops Where?

    A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I haven't…
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    Flight Delay Announcement

    A passenger on a Southwest flight says that he once faced a flight delay just before they…
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    Parenting Tip

    Mary Siegel was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best…
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    Fair Tax

    At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the…
Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.

- I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.

- I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.

- A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.

- Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him.  Unfortunately, my homework drowned.

- Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.

- I'm not at liberty to say why.

- I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.

- It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas.  You don't want to know the details.

- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.

- I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.

- My mom used it as a dryer sheet.

- My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.

- It's against my religion to do any homework.

- I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.

- I felt it wasn't challenging enough.

- My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night.  Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.

- We had homework?!

- I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."

- I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.

- I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
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