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More Jokes

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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    ID Card

    The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a…
  • rest area

    I'll Call Back

    Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decided to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the…
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    Weird Library Reference Questions

    All of these situations are real and some of them were mighty embarrassing.Enjoy! Part 1:…
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    Watch Your Step

    Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family…
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    First Day Answer

    The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you…
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    Fishing Wife

    "So, what's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just…
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    Battle Hymn of Term Finals

    Mine eyes have seen the horrorOf the ending of the termIt has poisoned all my spiritsLike…
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    Cleaning Instructions

    I bought a great new toilet seat recently.On the label was a suggestion on how to clean…
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    Votive Candles

    Visiting St Patrick's Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children…
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    I Love My Job

    I Love My Job (apologies to Dr. Seuss) I love my job, I love the pay, I love it more and…
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    Give and Take

    All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    Vice President Pride

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…
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    Matchmaker

    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…
Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.

- I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.

- I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.

- A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.

- Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him.  Unfortunately, my homework drowned.

- Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.

- I'm not at liberty to say why.

- I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.

- It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas.  You don't want to know the details.

- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.

- I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.

- My mom used it as a dryer sheet.

- My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.

- It's against my religion to do any homework.

- I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.

- I felt it wasn't challenging enough.

- My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night.  Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.

- We had homework?!

- I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."

- I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.

- I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
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