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More Jokes

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    Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies

    1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to…
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    First Things First

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the…
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    Bad Flight

    While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power…
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    Newbie Preacher

    A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a…
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    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    Who Am I?

    Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's…
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    Thomas

    A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a…
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    Wilderness Trip

    The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our…
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    What Doctors are Thinking

    What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right…
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    Bigger and Bigger

    A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets…
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    Cinnamon Rolls

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at…
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    Goober Circle

    A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved…
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    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    Negotiated Rules of Golf Between AARP and USGA

    The AARP has negotiated with the USGA to modify the following rules of golf for…

Homilies To Live By

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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