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More Jokes

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    Now, Now Ellen

    A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As…
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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…
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    Deer Prayer

    The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season.Or…
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    Breaker, Breaker Dog Buddy

    My son Ward owns a shiny green four-wheel-drive truck. He also owns a 110-pound black…
  • picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar

    More Bumper Stickers

    * FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. * I can't dial 911.…
  • chef bad

    You Are A Bad Cook If…

    You can find "You Know You Are a Bad Cook When...part 1" here. - The last time you tried…
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    Glacier Work

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…
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    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
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    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
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    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Pain Explanation

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Dog Rules

    Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    You Know You Are Over the Hill When

    1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music. 2. You're sitting on a park bench…

Homilies To Live By

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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