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More Jokes

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    Moth Madness

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
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    Official ID Card

    My husband, a U.S. Coast Guard pilot, was on an exchange tour with the Royal Navy in…
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    Feeding the Baby

    My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.…
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    Church Mice Problem

    Three pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first pastor said, "Ya know,…
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    Coast Guard Keeping

    My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. When she gave my husband…
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    Signs the Childhood is Over

    Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. Driving a car doesn't…
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    *Famous Sports Quotes*

    "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman…
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    Homilies To Live By

    Homilies To Live ByGive a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to…
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    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
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    Learn Those Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I…
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    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    Pet Hotline

    The Iams Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Fried Eggs

    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst…
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    Flying Follies

    Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations between airline…

Homilies To Live By

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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