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More Jokes

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    Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor

    *Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor** The patient before you was a goat.* Instead…
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    Last Marathon

    Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was…
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    Dough Boy Drive By

    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was…
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    Bible Answer

    A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible…
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    Three Escape

    Three women escaped from prison....one was a goober. They ran for miles until they came…
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    Medical Fraud

    The police recently busted a man selling 'secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal…
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    The Power of Government

    Pythagorean theorem : 24 WordsThe Lord's Prayer : 66 WordsArchimedes' Principle : 67…
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    Lemon-Aid

    A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a…
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    Color Blind

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Spin the Bottle

    "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it…
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    Comprehending Engineers

    Take One A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly…
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    6 Legged Turkey

    An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better…
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    Restroom Bugs

    I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the…
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    Here Kitty

    Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to pee late one night.He watched some…
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    Gravity Situation

    I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is…

Homilies To Live By

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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