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More Jokes

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    Wrapping Help

    My wife asked me to help wrap Christmas presents this year, but I was watching football…
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    Clothes Hamper

    I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked…
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    Boat 99

    At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his…
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    Art Collector

    A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping…
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    Chocolate Laughs

    Over the years, people have come up with a number of great reasons to eat chocolate. The…
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    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
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    Y1K

    Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout…
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    Rules For Choosing A Superhero Name

    *Rules For Choosing A Superhero Name*1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms.…
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    Even More Cute Kids

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old…
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    The War of the Navels

    The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that…
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    Why Ask Why

    *Why Ask Why*Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and…
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    Getting Ready

    A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey,…
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    Ring Appraisal

    An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a…
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    8-Year-Old Asks

    An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy,…
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    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…

Homilies To Live By

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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