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  • cat on roof

    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…
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    Stockbroker's Secretary

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning."I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
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    Goober Coffee Maker

    The newlywed Goober went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received…
  • Queen Elizabeth with Gun

    Revocation of Independence

    Remember when the US election took so long to decide back in November of 2000? Here's a…
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    Captain Comeback

    I worked in the biology department at Buffalo State College in New York. The Great Lakes…
  • judges gavel

    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
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    Not as Bad as They Say

    Thanks to my good, Texan friend Walter Smith for this one.Chuck was sitting in an…
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    Carry A Flashlight

    A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin."Is it true…
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    Back In My Day

    For those of us who remember the good old days. In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We…
  • microphone

    Dumb Sports Quotes

    Dumb Sports Quotes *"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a…
  • chocolate chip cookies

    Cafeteria Sign

    Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of…
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    Cheap Perfume

    After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little…
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    Crate of Chickens

    The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had…
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    In the Fitting Room

    My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched…
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    The Tie

    A man goes into a restaurant and the waitress stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a…

One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster.

"Get the owner's manual!" my daughter's husband shouted.

"I can't find it anywhere!" cried my daughter a short time later.

"Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen. "Well, the toast is fine, but the owner's manual's burned to a crisp."

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