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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Behavior Modification

    One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office.When I walked…
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    Don't Have Any

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
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    Fourth Grade Logic

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation,"…
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    Why Dogs Can't Use Computers

    *Why Dogs Can't Use Computers*10. He's distracted by cats chasing his mouse.9. SIT and…
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    Chocolate Laughs

    Over the years, people have come up with a number of great reasons to eat chocolate. The…
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    Military Chat

    During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different…
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    Rules For Choosing A Superhero Name

    *Rules For Choosing A Superhero Name*1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms.…
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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
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    Stain Glass

    An area pastor tells of his first Sunday in the new parish and presenting the children's…
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    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Anthill Golf

    Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill.Rather than move the ball, he…
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    Sunday Complaints

    After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this…

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, Dr. Wilson said it had. I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone.

"Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn't have?"

"It wasn't a boy," replied Dr. Wilson.

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