logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
  • Default Image

    Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

    ~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. ~ Organize his workshop,…
  • Default Image

    50 Years - 5 Minutes

    On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of…
  • Default Image

    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey

    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey: Ingedients: - 1 large turkey - 1 small turkey…
  • Default Image

    Leaky Pipe

    A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the…
  • Default Image

    Work Prayer

    Confiding in a co-worker, I told her about a problem in our office and my fear that I…
  • Default Image

    Helpful Executive

    A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing…
  • Default Image

    Duck Food

    Duck : Do you have any duck food? Storekeeper: No Duck : Do you have any duck food?…
  • Default Image

    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
  • Default Image

    Professionalism Test

    Read this out loud:This is this catThis is is catThis is how catThis is to catThis is…
  • Default Image

    Road To Easy Street

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted…
  • Default Image

    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
  • snowman

    Learned From a Snowman

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " --It's okay if you're a…
  • child pray

    Pray Loud

    Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys…
  • Default Image

    Bus Fare to Train Station

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?"…

thermometerAn annotated thermometer:

(degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius)

+50 / +10
* New York tenants turn on the heat
* Thunder Bayites plant gardens

+40 / +4
* Californians shiver uncontrollably
* Canadians sunbathe

+35 / +2
* Italian cars don't start

+32 / 0
* Distilled water freezes

+30 / -1
* You can see your breath
* You plan a vacation in Florida
* Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
* Thunder Bayites eat ice cream

+25 / -4
* Boston water freezes
* Californians weep pitiably
* Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

+20 / -7
* Cleveland water freezes
* San Franciscans start thinking favourably of LA
* Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts

+15 / -10
* You plan a vacation in Acapulco
* Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Thunder Bayites go swimming

+10 / -12
* Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
* Too cold to snow
* You need jumper cables to get the car going

0 / -18
* New York landlords turn on the heat
* Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!

-5 / -21
* You can hear your breath
* You plan a vacation in Hawaii

-10 / -23
* American cars don't start
* Too cold to skate

-15 / -26
* You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
* Miamians cease to exist
* Canadians lick flagpoles

-20 / -29
* Cat insists on sleeping in your pyjamas with you
* Politicians actually do something about the homeless
* People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens

-25 / -32
* Too cold to kiss
* You need jumper cables to get the driver going
* Japanese cars don't start
* Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training

-30 / -34
* You plan a two-week hot bath
* Pilsener freezes
* Bock beer production begins
* Thunder Bayites shovel snow off roof

-38 / -39
* Mercury freezes
* Too cold to think
* Canadians button top button

-40 / -40
* Californians disappear
* Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Thunder Bayites put on sweaters

-50 / -46
* Congressional hot air freezes
* Alaskans close the bathroom window
* Green Bay Packers practice indoors

-60 / -51
* Walruses abandon Aleutians
* Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
* Thunder Bayites put gloves away, take out mittens
* Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-70 / -57
* Glaciers in Central Park
* Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
* Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste.
Marie

-80 / -62
* Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
* Rhinelander Birkebeiner
* Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-90 / -68
* Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
* Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
* Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer

-100 / -73
* Santa Claus abandons North Pole
* Canadians pull down earflaps

-173 / -114
* Ethyl alcohol freezes
* Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans

-297 / -183
* Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
* Microbial life survives only on dairy products

-445 / -265
*Superconductivity

-452 / -269
*Helium becomes a liquid

-454 / -270
*Hell freezes over

-456 /-271
*Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90

-458 / -272
*Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
*All atomic motion ceases
*Canadians allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy.

Powered By JFBConnect