logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • a picture of a high-heel-shoe

    Shoe Cover-Up

    One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this…
  • Default Image

    Ohio

    Apparently I tend to brag too much about my home state of Ohio.One day I told a…
  • Default Image

    Amish Bumper Sticker

    While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following…
  • Default Image

    Boy or Girl

    Man: "Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
  • Default Image

    Teenaged Daughter Owner's Manual

    Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters who think they are…
  • The Seniors' Serenity Prayer

    Serenity for Seniors

    God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to…
  • Default Image

    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
  • Default Image

    Jury Duty

    Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?Juror: I don't…
  • Default Image

    Movie Night

    My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time…
  • Default Image

    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
  • Default Image

    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
  • A funny joke about a dad and his son out fishing.

    Questions

    A man took his son fishing one day. After a few hours in the boat with not much to do,…
  • Default Image

    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
  • Default Image

    Feeding Shamu

    At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer…
  • Default Image

    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…

thermometerAn annotated thermometer:

(degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius)

+50 / +10
* New York tenants turn on the heat
* Thunder Bayites plant gardens

+40 / +4
* Californians shiver uncontrollably
* Canadians sunbathe

+35 / +2
* Italian cars don't start

+32 / 0
* Distilled water freezes

+30 / -1
* You can see your breath
* You plan a vacation in Florida
* Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
* Thunder Bayites eat ice cream

+25 / -4
* Boston water freezes
* Californians weep pitiably
* Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

+20 / -7
* Cleveland water freezes
* San Franciscans start thinking favourably of LA
* Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts

+15 / -10
* You plan a vacation in Acapulco
* Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Thunder Bayites go swimming

+10 / -12
* Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
* Too cold to snow
* You need jumper cables to get the car going

0 / -18
* New York landlords turn on the heat
* Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!

-5 / -21
* You can hear your breath
* You plan a vacation in Hawaii

-10 / -23
* American cars don't start
* Too cold to skate

-15 / -26
* You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
* Miamians cease to exist
* Canadians lick flagpoles

-20 / -29
* Cat insists on sleeping in your pyjamas with you
* Politicians actually do something about the homeless
* People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens

-25 / -32
* Too cold to kiss
* You need jumper cables to get the driver going
* Japanese cars don't start
* Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training

-30 / -34
* You plan a two-week hot bath
* Pilsener freezes
* Bock beer production begins
* Thunder Bayites shovel snow off roof

-38 / -39
* Mercury freezes
* Too cold to think
* Canadians button top button

-40 / -40
* Californians disappear
* Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Thunder Bayites put on sweaters

-50 / -46
* Congressional hot air freezes
* Alaskans close the bathroom window
* Green Bay Packers practice indoors

-60 / -51
* Walruses abandon Aleutians
* Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
* Thunder Bayites put gloves away, take out mittens
* Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-70 / -57
* Glaciers in Central Park
* Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
* Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste.
Marie

-80 / -62
* Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
* Rhinelander Birkebeiner
* Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-90 / -68
* Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
* Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
* Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer

-100 / -73
* Santa Claus abandons North Pole
* Canadians pull down earflaps

-173 / -114
* Ethyl alcohol freezes
* Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans

-297 / -183
* Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
* Microbial life survives only on dairy products

-445 / -265
*Superconductivity

-452 / -269
*Helium becomes a liquid

-454 / -270
*Hell freezes over

-456 /-271
*Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90

-458 / -272
*Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
*All atomic motion ceases
*Canadians allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy.

Powered By JFBConnect