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More Jokes

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    Sewing Lesson

    My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to…
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    Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left…
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    Special Delivery

    It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss…
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    A Mother's Letter to Her Son

    A Mother's Letter to Her Son My Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I'm still…
  • thermometer

    How Cold is it?

    An annotated thermometer: (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) +50 / +10* New York tenants…
  • ski fall

    Preparing For Ski Season

    Ski season will be here soon! Hence, the following list of exercises to get you prepared:…
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    The Night Before Finals

    'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor…
  • guitar bumper sticker

    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…
  • computer keyboard

    A Better Keyboard

    What do we want? A keyboard for fat fingers! When do we want it? BOW!
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    Automobile Acronyms

    AUDIAccelerates Under Demonic InfluenceAlways Unsafe Designs Implemented BMWBeautiful…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
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    Junior's Nickels

    There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The…
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    Skinny Lumberjack

    A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a…
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    Reading Problem

    A patient came to me to discuss her nine year old son who was having difficulty reading.…

How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

USA Today:
WE'RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal:
DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

Microsoft Systems Journal:
APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Sports Illustrated:
GAME OVER

Wired:
THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone:
THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest:
'BYE

Discover Magazine:
HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide:
DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Lady's Home Journal:
LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

Inc. magazine:
TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

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