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    Wise President

    When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace…
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    Ten Laws of Life

    1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.…
  • A picture of the Grand Canyon

    Questions Asked at National Parks

    *Questions Asked at National Parks* *Everglades National Park:*Are the alligators…
  • veterinarian

    Lock Jaw

    In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian.…
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    Parts is Parts

    A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the…
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    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    Signal Shot

    The new ensign was standing his first night watch on the bridge of a destroyer. Far out…
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    Corporate America in the 90's

    You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if: - You've sat at the same desk for…
  • studying ahead

    Ode To Finals Week

    Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,The students were praying for…
  • great dane

    A Dog Named Bear

    Friends of ours owned a huge Great Dane named "Bear." He looked menacing but was actually…
  • wise owl

    Words and Questions From the Wise

    *Words and Questions From the "Wise"* I intend to live forever. So far, so good. If…
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    Australian Vacation

    On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking to…
  • picture of dad and son

    Dad's Pay Check

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My…
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    Insurance Check and Double Take

    Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer’s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage,…

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books.  Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them.  The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe  whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

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