More Jokes

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    Kitchen Cry

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    Top 10 Signs that you company is planning to lay you off.

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    The Difference of a Year

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    Toaster Request

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    Some Great Malapropisms...

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    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
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    Children At The Dinner Party

    During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally…
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    Painted Sunset

    Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying…
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    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
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    Wayward Cessna

    You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high security, super-secret base in Nevada,…
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    Getting Older Lines

    Now that I'm older....here's what I've discovered: I STARTED out with nothing....I still…
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    New Appointment

    Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is…
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    Another Reason Not To Drink

    This guy enters a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It…
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    Newlywed Compromise

    For our first New Year's together as a married couple, my wife offered me a choice of…

1. Remove film from box and load camera.

2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

4. Choose a suitable background for photo.

5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.

6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.

13. Put magazines back on coffee table.

14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.

15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

17. Clean up mess.

18. Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

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