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  • baseball1

    Bat Delivery

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    Picking a Winner

    The bookie slowly counted out the money into the old lady's wrinkled hands."Lady," he…
  • great dane

    A Dog Named Bear

    Friends of ours owned a huge Great Dane named "Bear." He looked menacing but was actually…
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    Black Canyon Biker

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got…
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    Airline Announcements

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture"…
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    Words Per Day

    Abraham was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
  • radio hand

    Helicopter Debate

    My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said helicopters were a big help…
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    Message Puzzle

    April was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day…
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    More Strange Warnings

    Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product…
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    Priest's Uniform

    A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his "work uniform" went up to the…
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    One-liners

    *43.3% of statistics are meaningless! *Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.…
  • Picture of the Texas flag

    Texan Expressions

    For fun, try to use at least two of these in at work today. *A guide to a few of the more…
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    Late For Church

    A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday…
  • picture of for rent sign

    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…

1. Remove film from box and load camera.

2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

4. Choose a suitable background for photo.

5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.

6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.

13. Put magazines back on coffee table.

14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.

15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

17. Clean up mess.

18. Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

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