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More Jokes

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    More Actual Classified Ads

    More Actual Classified Ads - - - - - Stock up and save. Limit: one. - We build bodies…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
  • An historic tour company dressed their employees in colonial dress.

    Colonial Break

    A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in Colonial…
  • Tight Shoes

    Shoe Fit

    A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
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    Finkel's Fine

    A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, Hello, darling, I'd like to talk…
  • cowboy tack

    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
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    Egg Timing

    A friend of mine, a new bride, was on her honeymoon and spent one night at her spouse's…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 1

    1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Student Driver

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in…
  • bus interior

    Bus Pole

    While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole,…
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    Thomas

    A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a…
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    Wild Game

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    Jewelry Store Application

    Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca…
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    Thanks

    A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an…

1. Remove film from box and load camera.

2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

4. Choose a suitable background for photo.

5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.

6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.

13. Put magazines back on coffee table.

14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.

15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

17. Clean up mess.

18. Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

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