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More Jokes

  • When luggage goes missing.

    Home For The Holidays

    A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she…
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    Crossing Lesson

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Second Opinion

    A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried and all strung out. She rattled…
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    Just Visiting Here

    The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging…
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    The Head Hog

    The secretary picked up the phone and heard a very "countryfied" voice on the other end…
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    Bridge Trouble

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway when a sign comes up that reads "Low…
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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 2

    ~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon…
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    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor

    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor~ Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out,…
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    The Magician and The Parrot

    A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Even More Musings

    1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 2. One nice thing about egotists: They…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…
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    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
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    New Medical Technology

    A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several…
  • wedding kids

    Wedding Vows

    A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows…

-You wake up face down on the pavement.

-You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

-You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

-Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

-You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

-Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

-You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

-Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

-Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

-Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

-You wake up and your braces are locked together.

-You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

-You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

-Your income tax check bounces.

-You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

-The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

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