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More Jokes

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    Cow Horns

    "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on…
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    Range Cancelled

    At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second…
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    Whale Speak

    An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.…
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    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    Church Hopping

    A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a…
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    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
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    Alcohol Consumption Warnings

    Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the…
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    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
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    Basement Pitch

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Taste It

    One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Where Are We?

    Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they…
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    Learn Those Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I…
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    Kid Wisdom

    When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.Never tell your Mom…

-You wake up face down on the pavement.

-You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

-You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

-Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

-You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

-Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

-You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

-Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

-Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

-Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

-You wake up and your braces are locked together.

-You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

-You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

-Your income tax check bounces.

-You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

-The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

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