logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

How You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Rotten Day

-You wake up face down on the pavement.

-You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

-You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

-Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

-You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

-Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

-You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

-Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

-Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

-Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

-You wake up and your braces are locked together.

-You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

-You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

-Your income tax check bounces.

-You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

-The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Quarter Back

    Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters? Nurse:…
  • knight joust

    Friends Like That

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. "How are…
  • Default Image

    Fixed Sign

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
  • plane passenger window

    On Time

    The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger…
  • Default Image

    Getting To Heaven

    The pastor was talking to a group of young children about believing in Jesus and going to…
  • Default Image

    The Gas Men

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
  • passenger window on plane

    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…
  • Default Image

    Fishing Mirror

    A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another…
  • Default Image

    Men and Women

    Differences Between Men & Women NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out…
  • doctor file

    What Doctors are Thinking

    What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right…
  • Default Image

    All Purpose Excuse Form

    Here is an all purpose excuse form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Hymns

    If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take…
  • When luggage goes missing.

    Home For The Holidays

    A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she…
  • cat full

    Where's the Beef

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…