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    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
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    Fire Test

    Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each…
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    Goober Flight Lesson

    A goober went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all…
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    "If It" Office Advice

    If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly. If it clanks, call the repairman. If it whistles,…
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    Out-of-Office Replies

    I don't know about you, but I find those "Out-of-the-Office" e-mail auto-replies very…
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    French Dream

    A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class.To encourage him, his teacher said,…
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    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
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    Hymns for Speeders

    Now, for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns for you: 45 mph.................God…
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    Garage Wow

    There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his…
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    You're Not a Kid Anymore When

    You're not a kid anymore when ...* The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is…
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    Grandma Thanks

    A grandmother was headed out the door to go to church one Sunday when she got a call from…
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    Astronomers Declare February No Longer a Month

    Emboldened by their success in declaring Pluto not a planet, the International…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Preacher and Cowboy

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…

-You wake up face down on the pavement.

-You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

-You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

-Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

-You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

-Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

-You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

-Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

-Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

-Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

-You wake up and your braces are locked together.

-You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

-You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

-Your income tax check bounces.

-You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

-The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

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