More Jokes

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    The Perfect Worker

    From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2…
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    ** If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then…
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    Five Kinds of Fruit

    In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They…
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    Ticket Purchase

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
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    Flight Attendant Trivia

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
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    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
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    Ironic Phone Call

    A guy showed up at church with both of his ears burned. His chum asked, "what happened to…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    2 Bad Days

    You're NOT having a bad day ... these people had bad days: 1. The average cost of…
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    Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the…
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    Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies

    1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to…
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    Chickens in the Sack

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. There were two…
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    Take Out For Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…
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    Golf Questions

    Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.Nadine: TELL me about it!…

-You wake up face down on the pavement.

-You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

-You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

-Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

-You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

-Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

-You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

-Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

-Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

-Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

-You wake up and your braces are locked together.

-You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

-You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

-Your income tax check bounces.

-You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

-The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

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