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More Jokes

  • law offices

    Lawyer Questions

    The following questions from lawyers (and answers from witnesses) were taken from…
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    More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial…
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    Indiana Rainstorm

    After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a…
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    Egg Timing

    A friend of mine, a new bride, was on her honeymoon and spent one night at her spouse's…
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    Sleeping Juror

    A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor,…
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    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
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    Military Time

    My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she…
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    Heredity

    Father, Mother and their 3 sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle) and Steve (youngest)…
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    No Matter What

    Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they…
  • couple elderly

    I'm Dead

    A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning. He takes her hand,…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…
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    Chess Playing Dog

    A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He…
  • Last Minute Turkey

    Last Minute Turkey

    It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on…
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    Wedding Tears

    During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at…
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    Orchestra Note

    While a famous orchestra was on tour, the conductor found this note under his hotel room…

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well.  Hope you are.  Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for Old Man Minch a mile.  Tell them to join up quick before maybe all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am!  but I am getting so I like to sleep late.  Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.  Practically nothing.  You got to shave, but it is not bad in warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food.  But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee.  Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.  We go on "route marches," which, the Sgt.  says, are long walks to harden us.  If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different.  A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.  Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks.  The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sgt.  is like a schoolteacher.  He nags some.  The Capt.  is like the school board.  Cols.  and Gens.  just ride around and frown.  They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.  I keep getting medals for shooting.  I don't know why.  The bull's-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move.  And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home.  All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.  You don't even load your own cartridges.  They come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellows get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving son, Zeb

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