logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Hymns vs. Choruses

farmer and pigsAn old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the farmer, "it was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."

"Praise choruses?" said his wife. "What are those?"

"Oh, they're OK. They are sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The farmer said, "Well, it's like this - If I were to say to you: "Martha, the cows are in the corn"' - well, that would be a hymn. If on the other hand, I were to say to you:

'Martha, Martha, Martha,
Oh Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA,
the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows
the white cows,
the black and white cows,
the COWS, COWS, COWS
are in the corn,
are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn,
the CORN, CORN, CORN.'

Then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well, that would be a praise chorus."

man8The next weekend, his nephew, a young, new Christian from the city came to visit and attended the local church of the small town. He went home and his mother asked him how it was.

"Well," said the young man, "it was good. They did something different however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs."

"Hymns?" asked his mother. "What are those?"

"Oh, they're OK. They are sort of like regular songs, only different," said the young man.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his mother.

The young man said, "Well, it's like this - If I were to say to you: 'Martha, the cows are in the corn' - well, that would be a regular song. If on the other hand, I were to say to you:

'Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.

For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense
Hearkenest they in God's sun or His rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.

Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn have chewed.

So look to the bright shining day by and by
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn
Where no vicious animals make my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn.'

Then if I were to do only verses one, three and four and do a key change on the last verse, well that would be a hymn."

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • suitcases

    No Contraband

    After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother…
  • woman old4

    Mrs. Pierpoint

    A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door.…
  • Default Image

    Bedtime Suggestion

    I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed-time finally came, I laid…
  • Default Image

    Lobster Pets

    After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two…
  • Default Image

    Bear Flight

    During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman…
  • Default Image

    Namesake Care

    While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier…
  • Default Image

    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…
  • school house

    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
  • Default Image

    Wilderness Trip

    The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our…
  • Default Image

    Chinese Knitting

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed…
  • Default Image

    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…
  • Default Image

    This Town is so Small...

    This town is so small . . .- The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one…
  • Default Image

    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
  • Default Image

    Get Me Out

    My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest…
  • Default Image

    Scale Pondering

    Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department…