logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Hymns vs. Choruses

farmer and pigsAn old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the farmer, "it was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."

"Praise choruses?" said his wife. "What are those?"

"Oh, they're OK. They are sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The farmer said, "Well, it's like this - If I were to say to you: "Martha, the cows are in the corn"' - well, that would be a hymn. If on the other hand, I were to say to you:

'Martha, Martha, Martha,
Oh Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA,
the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows
the white cows,
the black and white cows,
the COWS, COWS, COWS
are in the corn,
are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn,
the CORN, CORN, CORN.'

Then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well, that would be a praise chorus."

man8The next weekend, his nephew, a young, new Christian from the city came to visit and attended the local church of the small town. He went home and his mother asked him how it was.

"Well," said the young man, "it was good. They did something different however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs."

"Hymns?" asked his mother. "What are those?"

"Oh, they're OK. They are sort of like regular songs, only different," said the young man.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his mother.

The young man said, "Well, it's like this - If I were to say to you: 'Martha, the cows are in the corn' - well, that would be a regular song. If on the other hand, I were to say to you:

'Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.

For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense
Hearkenest they in God's sun or His rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.

Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn have chewed.

So look to the bright shining day by and by
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn
Where no vicious animals make my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn.'

Then if I were to do only verses one, three and four and do a key change on the last verse, well that would be a hymn."

JFBConnect not enabled. Please enable.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Know Your Friends

    One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an…
  • Default Image

    Work Show and Tell

    Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and…
  • Default Image

    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
  • Default Image

    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
  • Default Image

    Name Please

    A county traffic policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.…
  • Default Image

    New Diet

    Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes…
  • Default Image

    Husband Chair Feedback

    A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies'…
  • Default Image

    Understanding the Signs

    Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing…
  • Default Image

    Conch Sale

    In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on…
  • Default Image

    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
  • Default Image

    Doody Solution

    A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in…
  • Default Image

    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
  • Default Image

    Car Moving

    It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the…
  • Default Image

    Growing Up

    While on recess duty at the elementary school where I teach, I was talking with several…

Joomla! Debug Console

Session

Profile Information

Memory Usage

Database Queries