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    Airport Security

    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to…
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    Lost Bid

    Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly…
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    Little Encouragement

    The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly…
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    More Bad Headlines

    ~ March Planned For Next August ~ Blind Bishop Appointed To See ~ Lingerie Shipment…
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    Tips For Student Pilots

    Tips for student pilots. 1. Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory. 2. If you push…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
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    No Pets Allowed

    Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    Freezer Order

    I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals. Forget calling them "Veal…
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    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
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    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
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    Resume Cover Letters

    These were taken from real Resumes and Cover Letters, and were printed in "Fortune"…

Thought I'd let my doctor check me,

'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .

All those aches and pains annoyed me

And I couldn't sleep at night.

He could find no real disorder

But he wouldn't let it rest.

What with Medicare and Blue Cross,

We would do a couple tests.

To the hospital he sent me

Though I didn't feel that bad.

He arranged for them to give me

Every test that could be had.

I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,

My aging frame displayed.

Stripped, on an ice cold table,

While my gizzards were x-rayed.

I was checked for worms and parasites,

For fungus and the crud,

While they pierced me with long needles

Taking samples of my blood.

Doctors came to check me over,

Probed and pushed and poked around,

And to make sure I was living

They then wired me for sound.

They have finally concluded,

Their results have filled a page.

What I have will someday kill me;

My affliction is OLD AGE

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