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    Spa First Day

    A woman joined a health spa, and on her first day eagerly joined in an exercise class.…
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    Roughing It

    A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband…
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    What Don't You Have?

    An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have…
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    Paid To Worry

    Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he…
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    Name Confusion

    Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed…
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    Proposal Condition

    Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. "Will you marry me,…
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    Green Side Up

    A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.…
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    Jar Number 47

    A new miracle doctor had just arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and…
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    Y2K Backup System

    While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Rabbi Returns

    I returned to my parents' home to attend a funeral. At the temple, my mother led me to a…
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    Black Snake

    It was the first camping experience for Jed.As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went…
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    Breaker, Breaker Dog Buddy

    My son Ward owns a shiny green four-wheel-drive truck. He also owns a 110-pound black…
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    Simple Support

    Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while…
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    8-Year-Old Asks

    An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy,…

Thought I'd let my doctor check me,

'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .

All those aches and pains annoyed me

And I couldn't sleep at night.

He could find no real disorder

But he wouldn't let it rest.

What with Medicare and Blue Cross,

We would do a couple tests.

To the hospital he sent me

Though I didn't feel that bad.

He arranged for them to give me

Every test that could be had.

I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,

My aging frame displayed.

Stripped, on an ice cold table,

While my gizzards were x-rayed.

I was checked for worms and parasites,

For fungus and the crud,

While they pierced me with long needles

Taking samples of my blood.

Doctors came to check me over,

Probed and pushed and poked around,

And to make sure I was living

They then wired me for sound.

They have finally concluded,

Their results have filled a page.

What I have will someday kill me;

My affliction is OLD AGE

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