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More Jokes

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    Toilet Brush

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
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    Takes One To Know One

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
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    Wrapping Talk

    A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.He asked,…
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    Hawaii Pronunciation

    Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument. "It's…
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    Insurance Reflection

    Bill's barn burned down, and his wife Polly called the insurance company.Polly told the…
  • office man

    Corporate Listening

    The company I worked for had an employee suggestion competition, the entire staff was…
  • Army march joke

    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
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    Singing Practice

    Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time she…
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    Dining Problem

    Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's…
  • doctor file

    What Doctors are Thinking

    What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right…
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    Remembering Names

    When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their…
  • airplane trip from Indianapolis to Chicago

    Flight Time

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    Add Some Fun To Life

    Add Some Fun To Life Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'. Page yourself…
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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    Flower System

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his…

couple elderlyA husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning.

He takes her hand, and she says, "Don't touch me."

He says, "Why not?"

She answers, " Because I'm dead."

Husband says, "What are you talking about? We're lying here talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead because I woke up this morning, and nothing hurts."

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