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    Ten Laws of Life

    1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.…
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    Ticket Excuse

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Married Witness

    An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered at him,…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
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    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    Word Impatience

    Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless,…
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    2 Words

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Silly Q&A

    Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?He's all right…
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    Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    She Was Such A Goober

    She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a…
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    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…
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    Skeleton in the Closet

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • motel sign

    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
  • picture of bank vault door

    Banking Woes

    The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…

couple elderlyA husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning.

He takes her hand, and she says, "Don't touch me."

He says, "Why not?"

She answers, " Because I'm dead."

Husband says, "What are you talking about? We're lying here talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead because I woke up this morning, and nothing hurts."

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