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  • business timing

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…
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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Goober Grave Readers

    Three goobers, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were walking home late one night and found themselves…
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    Weddings and Funerals

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling…
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    Doctor Keeps Trying

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…
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    God Will Provide

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…
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    Helpful Executive

    A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    Rest Stop

    I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a…
  • umbrellas

    Summer Camp

    A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    Unwritten Warning Labels

    *Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive…
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    Theory Testing Contest

    *Winners of a Recent Theory Testing Contest* HONOURABLE MENTION: The quantity of…
  • phone2

    Day Off From School

    On Monday a call came in to the school receptionist. "Hello. Please mark William absent…
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    Best Guide

    I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into.His party became hopelessly…

couple elderlyA husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning.

He takes her hand, and she says, "Don't touch me."

He says, "Why not?"

She answers, " Because I'm dead."

Husband says, "What are you talking about? We're lying here talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead because I woke up this morning, and nothing hurts."

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