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    Waiting for Dark

    Preparing for a family vacation, Kathy and Matt explained to their young children that…
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    Help Desk

    A man who worked the help desk for a large company received a call one day from a…
  • Last Minute Turkey

    Last Minute Turkey

    It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on…
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    School Notes

    The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been…
  • pharmacist

    Food Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was…
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    Immigrations Card

    Some years ago an Englishman on a plane to Australia was handed one of those…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    Out of Gas Advice

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    Kitty Hostage

    My grandson Christopher is about six.He went to the next-door neighbors fence and…
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    Do Something Nice

    Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away…
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    Cinderoofer

    When my children received the video of Cinderella as a summer gift, they watched it…
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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    Bear Flight

    During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman…
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    No Gun Hunting

    There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.…
  • baseball1

    Do You Understand?

    At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…

picture of mom and child*If They Had a Doting Mother*

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

MOSES' MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

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