More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Change Reply

    Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw…
  • Default Image

    You're No Longer A Kid When…

    You're No Longer A Kid When...- Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.- You have…
  • Default Image

    Pink Humvees

    Our division had to repaint our Humvees to a sand color for Desert Storm. The result was…
  • Default Image

    Don't Repeat

    My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man.…
  • Default Image

    Art Collector

    A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping…
  • Default Image

    49 Cards

    A friend of ours waited until the last minute to send Christmas cards. She knew she had…
  • Default Image

    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
  • Default Image

    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
  • Default Image

    Canadian University Light-Bulb Jokes

    Enough here for many to laugh at themselves. CANADIAN UNIVERSITY LIGHT-BULB JOKES How…
  • Default Image

    Parrot Auction

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
  • Default Image

    Sightseeing at Alcatraz

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
  • picture of a cell phone

    Translation Please

    A French guest, staying in a American hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black…
  • Default Image

    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
  • Default Image

    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
  • Default Image

    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…

picture of mom and child*If They Had a Doting Mother*

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

MOSES' MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

Powered By JFBConnect