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More Jokes

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    Flight Instructions

    During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and…
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    Kitty Hostage

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    Farewell Luncheon

    The staff at the office where my wife works was hosting a farewell luncheon for a…
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    Cherokee 180

    One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active…
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    Leaky Pipe

    A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the…
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    Sleep Motivation

    An older man is on the operating table awaiting surgery. He has insisted that his son, a…
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    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    Lion Attack

    Two wildlife documentary film makers were filming a wild lion in Africa when they both…
  • bored in church

    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    Letters of Recommendation

    If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few…
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    Border problem

    An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota…
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    Mouse Trap

    A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, "Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will…
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    Withheld Pay

    After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a…
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…

picture of mom and child*If They Had a Doting Mother*

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

MOSES' MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

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