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More Jokes

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    Signs the Childhood is Over

    Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. Driving a car doesn't…
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    Reading At Lunchtime

    A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench…
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    Sunday Paper

    "Where's my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly…
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    Latin Lesson

    "Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song,…
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    Church Hopping

    A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a…
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    Say Something Positive

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a…
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    I'll Call Back

    Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decided to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the…
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    Johnny In The Garden

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
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    Mail Worker

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Dogs

    ** If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then…
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    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…
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    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…
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    Jeep Stuck

    During training exercises, the green lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road. He…
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    Lesser Known Laws

    Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.…
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    White Hairs

    One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen…

picture of mom and child*If They Had a Doting Mother*

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

MOSES' MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

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