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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
  • County Chairmen

    County Chairmen

    Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman…
  • Picture of the Texas flag

    Texan Expressions

    For fun, try to use at least two of these in at work today. *A guide to a few of the more…
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    Finally

    A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"…
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    Travelling Too Light

    A joke from back in the day when people needed a paper ticket to board an airplane ... A…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    In the Dorm

    In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights: dousing and…
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    Gym Oops

    New to the United States, I was eager to meet people. So one day I struck up a…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    Boys In Hospital

    The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children's ward."Are…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
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    Vacation Time

    Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview…
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    Florida Hurricane Advice

    We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn…
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    Military Chat

    During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different…
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    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that,…

picture of mom and child*If They Had a Doting Mother*

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

MOSES' MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

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