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More Jokes

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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Factory Supplies

    At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines'…
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    Pig Call

    A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough…
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    Isn't Aging Fun?

    Do you realize that the only time in our liveswhen we like to get old is when we're…
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    Liturgical Response

    In our Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting. The officiating clergyman…
  • Poorly worded ad causes trouble.

    Sewing Machine Ad

    The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last…
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    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
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    Homework Help

    "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my…
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    Expecting

    "How does Jamie like being pregnant?" Danny asked his friend Ryan."Oh, she's not…
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    Corporate Can-Do

    Programmer to Team Leader:"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve…
  • auto mechanic1

    On The Ball Mechanic

    My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound…
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    Cast Your Bread

    My mom, a difficult independent, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day…
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    Rules for Choosing a Super Hero Name

    1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…

Pessimist:

If you love someone, Set her free ... if she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:

If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't comes back soon forget her.

Patient:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat

Animal-Rights Activist:

If you love someone, Set her free ... In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:

If you love someone, Set her free ... Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

Bill Gates:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Statisticians:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:

If you love someone, Set her free ... SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person:

If you love someone don't set her free.

HR specialist:

If you love someone set her free by offering her VRS and other benefits then outsource her.

MBA:

If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously.

Psychologist:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back her super ego is dominant. If she doesn't come back her id is supreme. If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

ERP functional expert:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back, map her into your system. If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis.

Finance expert:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back its time to look at fresh loans. If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Expert:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back that's brand loyalty.

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