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More Jokes

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    Out of This World Bait

    My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden.…
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    Retirement Savings

    Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting…
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    Australian Military Helicopter Simulation

    This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related…
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    Employee Reviews

    Here's some comments taken from employee reviews."Some drink from the fountain of…
  • picture of a cell phone

    Translation Please

    A French guest, staying in a American hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black…
  • snowman

    Learned From a Snowman

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " --It's okay if you're a…
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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
  • Picture of a teacher

    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Bank Enunciation

    Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to…
  • classroom

    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
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    White Gloves

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
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    Empty Nest Syndrome

    You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if..... You have thrown out the…
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    Catfish Fishing

    Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his…
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    Build It and They Will Come

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Ironic Call

    One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him…

Pessimist:

If you love someone, Set her free ... if she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:

If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't comes back soon forget her.

Patient:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat

Animal-Rights Activist:

If you love someone, Set her free ... In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:

If you love someone, Set her free ... Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

Bill Gates:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Statisticians:

If you love someone, Set her free ... If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:

If you love someone, Set her free ... SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person:

If you love someone don't set her free.

HR specialist:

If you love someone set her free by offering her VRS and other benefits then outsource her.

MBA:

If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously.

Psychologist:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back her super ego is dominant. If she doesn't come back her id is supreme. If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

ERP functional expert:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back, map her into your system. If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis.

Finance expert:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back its time to look at fresh loans. If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Expert:

If you love someone set her free. If she comes back that's brand loyalty.

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