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    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…
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    Message Break

    A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle…
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    Cat Sale

    A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping…
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    Illegal Turn

    A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it…
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    Fixed Sign

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Map of the USA

    Know Your States

    The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked…
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    Tennis Ball Lesson

    A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each…
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    Cow Puzzler

    This is a cool puzzler. See if you can follow it - out loud is even better!1. Say COW…
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    Its On The Way

    A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any…
  • telephone pole

    Prayer Postions

    Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman…
  • woman old

    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…
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    Attendance Sermons

    A man who hadn't attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday…
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    Strawberry Fertilizer

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in…
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    Turtle Ears

    Tradition here in the office is to keep a notepad with the punch lines from the various…
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    Trio of Puns

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous…

loveyouTHE ORIGINAL VERSION:

If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours;
If it doesn't, it never was yours.

THE PESSIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours;
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

THE OPTIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,

Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, ask her why.

THE IMPATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time limit,
forget her.

THE PATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
until she comes back ...

THE PLAYFUL VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again. Repeat

THE LAWYER'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

THE BILL GATES VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high;
If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.

THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:

If you love somebody
don't ever set her free.

THE MBA VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously...
and look for others simultaneously.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant;
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme;
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans;
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

THE MARKETING VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty;
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

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