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    New Diet

    Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes…
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    4th Grade Experiment

    The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she…
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    In My Day

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…
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    Brick Order

    A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what…
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    Handy Gadget

    After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time,…
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    Goober Travelers

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: * I had someone ask for an…
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    Basement Pitch

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Lost In The Translation

    Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of…
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    Re-Gifting

    She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that…
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    Bible Confusion

    The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first…
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    Election Poetry

    In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great…
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    Anti-Burglar Signs

    The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few…
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    Brain vs Brawn

    The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…

loveyouTHE ORIGINAL VERSION:

If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours;
If it doesn't, it never was yours.

THE PESSIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours;
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

THE OPTIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,

Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, ask her why.

THE IMPATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time limit,
forget her.

THE PATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
until she comes back ...

THE PLAYFUL VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again. Repeat

THE LAWYER'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

THE BILL GATES VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high;
If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.

THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:

If you love somebody
don't ever set her free.

THE MBA VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously...
and look for others simultaneously.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant;
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme;
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans;
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

THE MARKETING VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty;
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

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