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    Wise President

    When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace…
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    Open Microphone

    While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…
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    Change Help

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and…
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    Wireless Security

    How to install a wireless security system:Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's…
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    Comedians' Convention

    Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out…
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    Minister Call

    A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.During her struggle the…
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    Five Steps to a Healthy Diet

    Five Steps to a Healthy DietThe Federal Drug and Food Administration is planning to issue…
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    Let Me Feel Your Pain

    It can buy a house but not a home. It can buy a bed, but not sleep. It can buy a clock…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    After Me

    "I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "Three companies are after me." "Is…
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    Payment Plan

    Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.Pete said…
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    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…

loveyouTHE ORIGINAL VERSION:

If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours;
If it doesn't, it never was yours.

THE PESSIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours;
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

THE OPTIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,

Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, ask her why.

THE IMPATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time limit,
forget her.

THE PATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
until she comes back ...

THE PLAYFUL VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again. Repeat

THE LAWYER'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

THE BILL GATES VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high;
If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.

THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:

If you love somebody
don't ever set her free.

THE MBA VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously...
and look for others simultaneously.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant;
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme;
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans;
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

THE MARKETING VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty;
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

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