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    White Gloves

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Out of this World Restaurant (groaner)

    Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
  • law offices

    Lawyer Questions

    The following questions from lawyers (and answers from witnesses) were taken from…
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    The Place for Grace

    When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away."Johnny wait until we…
  • picture of a grandfather

    Grandpa's Manners

    "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?"…
  • cake chocolate2

    Finishing

    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So…
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    All Roads Lead Back to Rome

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.…
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    Seat Sacrifice

    On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that…
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    Muffin Moving

    After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…
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    Vice President Pride

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…
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    Choruses vs Hymns

    young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
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    Inventions That Didn't Succeed

    The waterproof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine…
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    Dough Boy Drive By

    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was…

loveyouTHE ORIGINAL VERSION:

If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours;
If it doesn't, it never was yours.

THE PESSIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours;
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

THE OPTIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,

Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, ask her why.

THE IMPATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time limit,
forget her.

THE PATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
until she comes back ...

THE PLAYFUL VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again. Repeat

THE LAWYER'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

THE BILL GATES VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high;
If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.

THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:

If you love somebody
don't ever set her free.

THE MBA VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously...
and look for others simultaneously.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant;
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme;
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans;
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

THE MARKETING VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty;
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

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