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    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    Prison Riot

    The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like…
  • A boy's perspective

    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    Do You Understand?

    At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    Poor Dad

    A father worked as an accountant for the Air National Guard. Despite a regular adequate…
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    First Grade Proverbs

    A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class…
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    Seeing Eye Dogs

    Two men are walking their dogs. The first guy has a doberman, and the second guy has a…
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    Waiting for Dark

    Preparing for a family vacation, Kathy and Matt explained to their young children that…
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    Half Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her…
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    Seen Signs

    These signs might not communicate what was hoped for. On a California freeway: Fine for…
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    Super Golfball

    Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that…
  • tail light

    Helpful Mechanic

    Sally told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was…
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    Holding Hands

    While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they…

loveyouTHE ORIGINAL VERSION:

If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours;
If it doesn't, it never was yours.

THE PESSIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours;
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

THE OPTIMIST VERSION:

If you love somebody,

Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, ask her why.

THE IMPATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time limit,
forget her.

THE PATIENT VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
until she comes back ...

THE PLAYFUL VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again. Repeat

THE LAWYER'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

THE BILL GATES VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION:

If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high;
If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.

THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:

If you love somebody
don't ever set her free.

THE MBA VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously...
and look for others simultaneously.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant;
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme;
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans;
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

THE MARKETING VERSION:

If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty;
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

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