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  • gift

    Top 10 Holiday Gift Things To Say

    Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like: 10) Hey! There's a gift. 9.)…
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    If Airlines Sold Paint

    *If Airlines Sold Paint*Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all…
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    Monitors

    I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give…
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    Military Time

    My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she…
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    Dog Rules

    Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the…
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    Blind Ambition

    Charlie Boswell has always been one of my heroes. He has inspired me and thousands of…
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    Come and Get Me

    My brother dropped off his wife at the hairstylist and she was supposed to call me when…
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    Vet Come Back

    Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one…
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    Boat 99

    At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    Dangerous Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, "Danger! Beware…
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    Chicken Neighbour

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
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    Maid Mother

    For all their lives, my three sons have been told they have to do their chores around the…
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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang.

"You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably.

"All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!"

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