More Jokes

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    Really Impressed

    As a psychologist, my first job was working in a small clinic. One of my patients was a…
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    Immigrations Card

    Some years ago an Englishman on a plane to Australia was handed one of those…
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    Pop Rocks

    Cassie was taking two of her Grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio…
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    Double Talking Dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient."Good…
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    Goobers In Ditch

    Two Goobers were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we…
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    The Beginning

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…
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    Suspicious Delivery

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    Reversal of Fortune

    Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you…
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    Ten Laws of Life

    1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.…
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    Cake Make Up

    On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the…
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    Taxing Sleeps

    A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets)…
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    Pain Explanation

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Exact Address

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a…
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    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…

These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in the fewest words possible.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.

A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.

The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.

One wheel went into a ditch. My foot jumped from brake to accelerator, leaped across the road to the other side, and jumped into the trunk of a tree.

I had been driving for about 40 years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, casing me to have an accident.

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