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More Jokes

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    Government Farm Visit

    A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the…
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    Last Name Lineup

    On my first day in basic training, we were lined up in a row, each of us in turn having…
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    Pet Hotline

    The Iams Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

    Your favorite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."The parts that have…
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    Computer Help Desk

    Heard by the computer help desk:A customer couldn't get on the Internet:Helpdesk: "Are…
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    Pie Manners

    In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was eager to help his mother…
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    Animal Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I…
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    Smile For the DMV

    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was…
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    Interview Bloopers

    Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a horse with him to add to…
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    Sewing Lesson

    My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to…
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    Amazing Golf Ball

    A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a salesman runs up to him,…
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    More Strange Warnings

    Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product…
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    Men, Dogs, Women

    1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed.Both have…
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    Washing Settings

    One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…

Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

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