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More Jokes

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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Politcal Quotes

    "I resent your insinuendoes." "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain…
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    Caught on the Job

    The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 A.M. He did his best for a while, but at…
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    Top Ten Toys You May Have Trouble Finding This Year

    10. Sister's Dollhouse and Night Vision Ninja Assassin 9. Tuba Hero - World Tour8. Low…
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    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
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    Speech Flirt

    During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man.…
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    Coach Call

    As a high school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much…
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    Liberal Headlines

    If Biblical Headlines were written by Today's Liberal…
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    Wire Guard

    Gale-force winds and frigid temperatures had taken their toll. Snapped electric wires…
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    Happy Songs

    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to…
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    Key West Tourists

    I was a salesman and always wore a shirt and tie which made me stand out in Key West.…
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    Wrapping Talk

    A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.He asked,…
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    Dentist Bill

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    Get Better Soon

    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to…

Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

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