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    Australian Military Helicopter Simulation

    This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related…
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    Most Difficult Case

    Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over dinner, one asked, "What…
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    Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care

    *Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care*Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is…
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    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
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    Super Golfball

    Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that…
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    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    The Good Night Kiss

    At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened…
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    Rescue Mom

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
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    Compliments to the Chef

    I have a reputation for not being a fantastic cook. One evening I worked particularly…
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    More Bumper Stickers

    * FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. * I can't dial 911.…
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    Daddy's Trick

    The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,"I'm so happy to see you…
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    Helping Daddy

    One day a young boy ran crying to his mother and rubbing his behind. His mother said,…
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    Dog Report

    Craig's two kids are in the same class at school, and the teacher had the class write…
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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Swallowed a Coin

    The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in…

investingSTOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.

BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke".

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir? Ha ha ha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.

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