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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    Teaching Math

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    Check Signing

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    Turkey Shopping

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    When I Was Your Age

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    Passed Note

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Robbie's Move

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    Looking For Barney

    A four year old was at the paediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
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    Small Town Justice

    A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.…
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    20 Like You

    A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish…
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    Better Trainer

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…

investingSTOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.

BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke".

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir? Ha ha ha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.

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