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    Kangaroo Fence

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high,…
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    A Short History of Medicine

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    The Top 15 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western

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    PICNIC Problem

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    Newbie Preacher

    A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a…
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    Why Dogs Can't Use Computers

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    Tournament Weather`

    Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was…
  • A funny joke about 2 men in their fancy cars.

    Bragging Rights

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
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    Sloth Police Report

    A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he…
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    Mechanic Applicant

    A man is applying for a job as mechanic that he really wants to get.The boss says, "Can…
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    Ammunition Substantiation

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Pupil's Question

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
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    Hot Shot Pilot

    A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…

investingSTOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.

BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke".

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir? Ha ha ha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.

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