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    Babies at the Mall

    A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her…
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    Knitting Chinese

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Tiger Woods is to golf. She designed exotic…
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    What's Wrong Now?

    My friend, an ex-Marine Aviator wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane. I was…
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    Suitor Approval

    A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date,…
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    Running Away

    A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He…
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    Mom, Send Money

    A kid called up his mum from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out…
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    Gardening Help

    An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't…
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    Art Interpretation

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings.One is a…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Break Even

    Two men are in a bank when armed robbers break in.One robber rushes the teller windows,…
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    School Excuse

    At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and…
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    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
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    Cutting Class

    "Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose…
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    Odd News Reports

    Odd News Reports.....*"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and…
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    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…

Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."

The Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."

Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did you husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

The Texas lady replied "My husband sent me to charm school."

"Charm school!", the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"

The Texas lady responded, "So that instead of saying, 'Who gives a care' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?'"

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