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    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…
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    Toaster Request

    When my son was two or three and learning the ways of American life, he watched me place…
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    Longevity Answer

    The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up to his 110th birthday so they…
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    You've Had Too Much Coffee When

    You've had too much coffee when: 1. You ski uphill. 2. You get a speeding ticket even…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Arguing

    The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    I'm Not Sure

    When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure.""Look in…
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    Long Living

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    Flossing

    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
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    Future Price of Roses

    The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to…
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    Escaped Puppy

    I live across the street from a church. When my wife's puppy escaped from the back yard…
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    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…
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    30 Minutes To A Cleaner House

    *30 Minutes To A Cleaner House* You're getting company in 30 minutes. Your house is a…
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    Sign Fun

    *Sign Fun*On a California freeway: Fine for LitteringIn the window of an Atlanta clothing…

I finally figured out why I am so "full-figured"!

As I was conditioning my hair in the shower this morning, I took time to read my shampoo bottle.  I am in shock!  The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my entire body says "for extra volume and body"!  Seriously, why have I not noticed this before?

Tomorrow I am going to start using "Dawn" dish soap!  It says right on the bottle, "Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove".

It pays to read the warning labels my friends.

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