logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Couple Descriptions

    Even mismatched couples may described kindly.1. He's a chiropractor, and she is a pain in…
  • Default Image

    Incapacitated

    I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part…
  • Default Image

    Better Grades

    The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite…
  • Default Image

    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
  • Default Image

    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
  • Default Image

    How To Interpret Employment Ads

    "Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "Join…
  • Default Image

    Flight Instructions

    During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and…
  • Default Image

    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
  • Default Image

    Nutritious Eating

    According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't…
  • Default Image

    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
  • Default Image

    Computer One-liners - Part 3

    Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you…
  • Default Image

    Message Break

    A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle…
  • Default Image

    Farming Dream

    The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-viewing a prospective student,…
  • Default Image

    Cereal Adjustment

    Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now…
  • Default Image

    Seeing Eye Dogs

    Two men are walking their dogs. The first guy has a doberman, and the second guy has a…

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment........and they hired him!  As what?

1. NAME: Greg Bulmash

2. DESIRED POSITION: Reclining.  Ha ha.  But seriously, whatever's available.  If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

3. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package.  If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

4. EDUCATION: Yes.

5. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

6. SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

7. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

8. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

9. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

10. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

11. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING (UP TO 50 LBS)?: Of what?

13. DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"

14. HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

15. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

16. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

17. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

Powered By JFBConnect