logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Job Application

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment........and they hired him!  As what?

1. NAME: Greg Bulmash

2. DESIRED POSITION: Reclining.  Ha ha.  But seriously, whatever's available.  If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

3. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package.  If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

4. EDUCATION: Yes.

5. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

6. SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

7. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

8. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

9. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

10. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

11. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING (UP TO 50 LBS)?: Of what?

13. DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"

14. HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

15. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

16. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

17. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • jeans

    The Gift That Keeps On Giving

    This is a really long item, but well worth the read! The one present Roy Collette wasn't…
  • Default Image

    Goober Operator

    My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. When I called, the…
  • Dog New Year's Resolutions

    Your Dog's New Year's Resolutions

    I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV. I will not steal underwear belonging…
  • Default Image

    Calling For Technical Support

    Calling For Technical Support (sound familiar?)------------------------------ Ring...…
  • Default Image

    Goober Release

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Cow Help

    A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car…
  • Default Image

    Cast Your Bread

    My mom, a difficult independent, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day…
  • Default Image

    Offering Encouragement

    A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.One Sunday he…
  • Default Image

    Bible Confusion

    The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first…
  • Default Image

    Getting Out

    During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., my squad was on a night patrol through…
  • Default Image

    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
  • lemon

    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
  • Default Image

    Doctor Keeps Trying

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…
  • Default Image

    Oversensitive Reply

    I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of…
  • Default Image

    More Sayings

    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an…